Filthy Little Secrets
A show where women get real about sex.
To praise pleasure.
And bless boldness.
One candid conversation at a time.
Join us for this heart to heart chat about something most of us think about, dream about, and even yearn for, but few of us feel comfortable admitting it, talking about it, or celebrating it.
Let's get filthy together.
Learn more at https://filthylittlesecrets.com/
Filthy Little Secrets
Party Down South: Adventures in Non-Monogamy with Zoey
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In this episode, host Marvin sits down with Zoey—a bold, magnetic single mom from the South—who shares her powerful journey into ethical non-monogamy. Raised in a traditional, conservative environment, Zoey opens up about what it took to break free from sexual repression and step fully into her truth. Her story is one of deep transformation: from silence and shame to confidence, clarity, and connection.
With refreshing honesty, Zoey talks about navigating sex clubs, attending organized orgies, and discovering profound sexual healing in the aftermath of trauma. Along the way, she sheds light on the emotional intelligence, body positivity, and radical communication that define this lifestyle. This conversation isn’t just about sex—it’s about liberation, healing, and finding a chosen community that uplifts you. Zoey’s voice is raw, unfiltered, and unforgettable.
During the show, Zoey mentions:
- https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/2hotwives-a-girls-guide-to-unc-1384113
- https://www.sls.com/
- https://fetlife.com/
Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real everyday women get real about sex. We're here to shatter stigma and trample taboo one candid conversation at a time. My name's Marvin, but my readers know me as Morgan Hale, filthy romance author. And I'm your host for this heart-to-heart chat about something most of us think about, dream about, and even yearn for. But few of us feel comfortable admitting it, talking about it, or celebrating it. So let's get filthy together.
SPEAKER_02Well, everyone,
Introduction to Zoey
SPEAKER_02I am very excited tonight to get to introduce you to Zoe. This is actually our first in-person conversation. She and I have a mutual friend who is a friend of the show. And this friend of ours was like, you need to talk to Zoe. So ever since this person told me about Zoe, I've been kind of begging Zoe to come and share her filthy magic with all of us. So she finally agreed to come and do it. So I'm super excited that she's here with us this evening. It is this evening for us. I'm in a I'm actually in a parked car in the dark in a park near the house. So it feels very kind of clandestine, actually. Yes. But yeah, so thank you for coming on the show. Absolutely. Yes. So other than me being persistent and begging you to come on the show, was there anything about the idea of the conversation that we're here to have that you were like, yes, I want to do this?
SPEAKER_05Yes. Well, actually, our
Everybody Wants A Piece of Zoey
SPEAKER_05mutual friend is begging me to write a book. Um and she wants the name of the book, or she actually picked the title of the book. Everyone wants a piece of Zoe.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I like it.
SPEAKER_05Because I'm a single mom that is ventured into the ethical non-monogamy lifestyle and dabbling in polyamory. And so over the summer, I ended a long-term relationship where I was a swinger and decided that I did not want to just have one partner. And so over the summer, I started this pathway to ethical non-monogamy. And so I would tell her stories. And so she's like, you have to write a book. Like people would eat your stories. Yeah. Everybody would love to read it. I live vicariously through you. She has kids of her own. And so it's I tell her what I'm about to do. And then she's like, it's like waiting for the movie or a show, the next episode to come out. So I was kind of excited
Growing up in The South
SPEAKER_05because I grew up in the South. And as um a woman in the South, you were taught that certain behaviors were negative and shameful, and you couldn't enjoy sex like a man. And I really feel my pathway in my life would have turned out so differently had I not grown up in the South. There's a lot of great things about growing up in the South, but with sexual oppression and women being put in a box or been told that this is your role in life, it's just not something I want my children to grow up feeling like. And I feel like some of the decisions I made were societal pressures and not who I really was as a person. And so now that I am in this ethnically non-monogamous world and I have friends that are doing the same, I have never been happier or healthier mentally in my whole entire life. And so I just wish more women and more people in society would embrace that we're not all wired the same, and that's okay. And loving sex and exploring our sexuality should not be a shameful thing.
SPEAKER_02And our friend was right, you're so perfect for the show in this conversation because yeah, I feel very much the same way. And I feel that I mean, I also grew up in the South and I witnessed, you know, even as a guy, I kind of struggled with some shame about my sexuality, but I definitely witnessed a whole new level, like a uh I think a more intense level of shaming of women and their sexuality and putting them into this box to say this is what you know, and I was definitely raised with like the narrative that, you know, men are sexual, women are not sexual, and you know, heard things like um men give love in order to get sex, and women give sex in order to get love. And the assumption behind that, of course, is that women really just want love, but they'll give up sex that they don't really want to have in order to get the love that they want. But of course they don't want sex because that's not that's a man thing, you know. So there was just a lot of that ideology baked into those kind of assertions, you know, that were just common. I mean, that was really like the assumption, and I heard it reiterated from you know, men and women, those ideas. I grew up, you know, in the pre-internet era, so yes. So if there was this taboo that you couldn't talk about it and discover something other than that narrative, then it's hard to not think, well, I just must be broken because nobody else is like me, you know. And so what I mean, in terms of you being like this butterfly that was in a cocoon that was trying to break out of it, what were some of the like early things that were going on inside of you? And like what was your situation that you were like, okay, this is not working for me. How do I break out of this?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So when I was in college,
Struggling with Monogamy
SPEAKER_05I dated the same guy all through college. And I remember graduating from college, he was taking a longer, even though he was older than me, he was taking a longer route to graduate. And I moved where I currently live for my job. And I was meeting and I didn't know anyone here, but I moved here specifically for the job. Um, it was in a I'm a nurse and it was in a specialty area of nursing that I really wanted to do. And not that many people were hiring new graduates in that particular field. So I jumped on the opportunity to get this job. But when I got up here, I had this desire to cheat on him, even though I'd been with him for for many years. And that was when I first was like, what's wrong with me? I had this perfectly nice guy who I want to marry one day, but yet I have a desire to do things with other people. We did end up, I did end that relationship for that reason because I didn't want to hurt him. Um, we're still friends to this day. And then I just remember loving having more than one person I was in a relationship with in my 20s. And my family kept saying, You need to settle down, Zoe, you need to settle down. And I just didn't have a desire to, but I finally did in my early 30s, which in the South, that's old for getting married. Like you are old maid and at 30 trying to get married, but I did, and then I cheated on him in my marriage or when we were dating, and I really didn't have this. I mean, I told him I cheated on him, but I didn't have this like guilt feeling. And I was like, what is wrong with me that I don't feel guilty? And then I really kind of in the back of my mind was like, are we meant and designed to be with just one person? Like, is that really like, is there one person for, you know, and what happens if you're if you grow or you know, that whole saying people come into your life for a reason this season or a lifetime? It's just like, you know, like there's chapters of a book, and why can't there be chapters of love or chapters of our life and our sexuality? And so I think that that's when so I've been married and divorced twice. And after I divorced the second time, I decided I was gonna take two years, no dating, no nothing, just work on myself, which I did. I did a Tony Robbins weekend retreat.
Discovering the ENM Lifestyle
SPEAKER_05And then after that, I was like, I want to just listen to my gut instinct and really hone in on what do I want? And that was when I met um my ex-boyfriend who introduced me into what people call the lifestyle, and he had been in the swinging lifestyle for seven years, and he was like, Zoe, I will leave the lifestyle if that's not what you want to do. Um, but he had this membership to a clothing optional resort in Mexico, and I had always wanted to go to a topless resort. And when I found out that this resort was complete nudity, you could have sex in front of other people. I was just intrigued and I wanted to know everything there was about it. And he we started listening to podcasts about this particular resort and the people that go there. And I just was
Nude Pools and Body Positivity
SPEAKER_05like, is there anywhere stateside that I could dabble into this? And he was like, Yes, there's actually a local place that you can go swim nude for the day at the at in a pool. And I said, Let's do it. And I have never I saw women with cellulite, I saw women that were overweight, that were just walking around like they were in the Miss America pageant, completely confident in their own skin. Having sex didn't matter if they jiggled or whatever. And I just remember thinking, I want to be them. That's what I want. I want to have body confidence and just embrace my sexuality. Gosh, this is amazing. And so I just decided I wanted to do
Love Without Jealousy?
SPEAKER_05it. And the crazy thing is, is the first time I saw him get a blowjob because I didn't know if I could handle it. In the South, jealousy equals love, and there's a lot of toxic monogamy. And so I didn't know if I would be able to handle seeing my partner have sex with another person or be with another person. And how would my partner handle me being with another person? I just didn't know how that was going to be. So I said, I'm gonna let you go first. And I just want to sit back and watch. And it was like watching live porn. Like I just sat with literally popcorn in a drink and watched four girls give him blowjobs. And it was the best thing ever. I loved it. I didn't get jealous. And then I was like, well, am I not jealous because I don't feel threatened by them or am I secure enough in my relationship? And I realized I was secure with my relationship and I didn't feel threatened. He was enjoying his sexuality, but but at the end of the day, I was a person he wanted to be with, and vice versa. And it was more of just having another sexual experience, but sharing that with my partner. And I loved it. I loved that dynamic. And so then that was when I mean, that was like basically the breakthrough. And I felt the most genuine, authentic, honest people I had ever met in the lifestyle. Like they just told it like it was, you know, were very brutally honest. There wasn't any game playing,
Talking Safe Sex
SPEAKER_05everybody's super safe as far as getting tested and making sure people were using, you know, like I I felt I feel safer in this world than I did when I dated in the vanilla world, where I felt like people were not honest and they were not truthful about how many people they'd been with or who they were sleeping with and condom usage and safe sex practices and all the things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because it's like it's okay to talk about those things. I I don't I kind of go in and out of like where do I fit in the you know lifestyle? I'm definitely polyamorous, that for sure.
Marvin aka Morgan HaleYeah.
SPEAKER_02And I have lots of friends that are in the lifestyle and I've been to lifestyle events, and there are there have been in the past, there have been like lifestyle clubs in Nashville that I've been to. And and yeah, I mean, the thing that's like super refreshing about that crowd is that like it's just okay to talk about that stuff really you know and to be candid about it. So it almost makes it to where, yeah, there's this trust and there's this safety because like you there there's no like, is this gonna be taboo or is somebody gonna judge me, or am I do I need to judge them? Or you know, it's it's like that's a safe conversation to have is like kind of conversations about sex and protection and you know, STD testing and all that kind of stuff, because it's like it's just part of the culture of it that that's okay and it's yeah normal and yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's very refreshing.
Love for Small Penis Guy
SPEAKER_02And I I mean I've seen the same thing too that you're talking about with the body positivity. I mean, you see people of all kinds of shapes and sizes, and it's like and there's just this like acceptance, and it's so cool. I mean, there's just one guy that I think about in the community here, and you know, I mean, he's he's not fit by any objective standards, and he's got a really small penis, and he is so comfortable and kind of jokes about it, and he's got a reputation of being the very first guy at every party to be completely naked. And like I've been at parties where he wasn't naked yet, and two girls came up to him and was like, What are you doing? And they just started stripping his clothes off, and like, and everybody just adores him, you know, and it's like it's different than the narrative that you kind of hear outside of that world where it's like, Oh, well, your penis isn't big enough or whatever. Like, no, he in that world he's he's so embraced and celebrated, and he has lots of sexual experiences, and um, yeah, so I mean that stuff to me is really cool to say.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, it's it's been and now I've our mutual friend is one of the few, like she knows everything, but she's one of my few what I consider vanilla friends that I stay in close contact with. But
Doing Life with ENM Friends
SPEAKER_05most of the people I do life with now are my lifestyle friends, and they're the ones that even like this past fourth of July, I went to someone said, How how does that work? I went to a lifestyle family-friendly celebration. Everybody at the party are lifestyle people, but they brought their kids, and of course, we were on our best behaviors and didn't say anything appropriate, inappropriate. But we brought our kids together and we do life stuff with each other. And when shit hits the fan as a single mom and I need something, it's my lifestyle friends that come running to help me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I've seen that too, you know.
SPEAKER_05And I just I'm I think I don't think I would have ever in a million years imagined that like somebody says, if you can't have sex with your friends, then what kind of friends are they? And it's just like it's just so interesting to me how you can be an orgy or have the sexual experience with this person. And then the next week you're like talking about kid stuff and going to a cookout together, you know what I mean? And you and like it's just it's like they don't no one bats an eye, everybody's like, yeah, whatever. And it's just I don't know, it's just really, really, really cool.
SPEAKER_02I'm curious if you have a theory as to why that is that people in the lifestyle have this tendency to really show up for each other. I mean, they're almost like because there was a time when I was really involved in churches, and yes, and I think for a little bit of maybe different reasons, but there is like sometimes in in a church that was is like a good church, you know, there's this real community and people show up for you when you need them and that, but like it's like I've seen the same thing in lifestyle groups, and I'm just wondering, do you have any kind of theory about what is it about people in the lifestyle or what is it about the vibe and the lifestyle that causes people to to become really tribal and communal and take care of each other?
SPEAKER_05Well, I think it's really a tribe of people, and I feel like we are kind of outcasts, we are not the norm. I mean, I feel like we're a fun group of people, but we're definitely, I feel like we have to kind of band together and support each other because even though it's fun to be poly and EM, it's still hard and it's still work, you know what I mean? And you have to do a whole lot of communicating. I feel like people in the lifestyle get really good at expressing their needs and wants. And maybe that transfers over to like, hey, I need help with this, or you know, I would really want some, you know, someone to be there for me. And I do think that sex with people, if you already have a connection and you build that relationship, is just that much better. So even if they're not somebody that you play with, like I have one play partner, I might play with him once every two to three months. But like if I were to call him up right now, him and his wife, and be like, I need help, they would come over and help me. Like they would drop everything and come over. But it's like I've been friends with them for four years. And even though I don't play with them and I only play with him, she they kind of play separately. Like at parties, they play separately. But, you know, I've had a sexual experience with him that she encourages. And she's like thrilled that like we have these play times together, but both of them would show up for me. And I'm just part of their lifestyle family. And so just like you would do things for family members, it's like you have your lifestyle family, and it's a bond that's just as strong as people that are married or like have this family connection. It's like the family you choose as opposed to the family you were born into, but it's the same kind of bond and yeah, relationships.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I um I think I've definitely seen that too. And I also kind of think that there's something about sexual energy when it's like consensual, yes, that that just forges bonds between people. Yes, and like when it's not playing games and it's not like I told you some kind of lie to get into your pants and all that kind of stuff, when it's open and honest communication that resulted in these shared sexual experiences. And even if it's like not somebody that I had the sexual experience with, there's just like this communal sexual energy that like forges, I don't know, it's like it forges a sort of uh um it's almost like just good vibes, good feelings. Yeah. I don't know, it's hard to describe it, but it is like to me, it is palpable.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02Um for sure. And and you know, and it's kind of like I've seen you naked or I've seen, you know, you put your thing inside that person's whatever, you know, it's there's something about the intimacy, I think, of that that yeah, it creates a bond that you you wanna you do, you want to show up for that person because it's like I've seen something in you or you've seen something in me that not everybody sees. And so even though we're not in a you know, quote unquote committed relationship, yeah, we have we have a kind of a bond, you know. Yeah we've seen each other this way. Or there's this one woman that um that I've played with a few times who's and I mean her and her husband are are very active in lifestyle. And we were dancing one night on the dance floor at a club, and she just told me she's like, I just really think that the world would be a better place if we all just fucked each other more. I love that world being like you know, I think there's truth to that, you know. That it's like we Yeah, we were I mean, I was uh you know, when I was younger, I mean like even in the south, I mean there's these ideas about sex that it it should only happen in these really narrow containers. And yes, but it's like well, what if what if we allowed it to happen in a lot of different ways in containers that whatever's like consensual between two or more adults? Like what could happen? And yeah, I I think it could be that it just like we find more reasons to love each other and less reasons to fight each other. Correct.
SPEAKER_05No, I completely and sometimes when people are grumpy and I'm around grumpy people, I think to myself they just need really good play. Like they just yeah. I wish I could sign somebody up for that.
SPEAKER_02Right, okay. Yeah, yeah. I can't remember where I heard about this, but like uh at their I mean, this is gonna sound like such it's I swear it's related, but like it's like a it might have been a TED talk or something where this woman was talking about that like in
Healing Trauma Through Sex
SPEAKER_02in ancient medieval world that there were these temples where these women who, you know, modern day we would consider them prostitutes, but their role in the society was that when the men came back from war, they would like they saw it as like a sacred act to fuck the war out of the men. And that it enabled this you know, the society to be one where there was peace and yeah. And I and I like I'm like, yeah, I think that sex has the capacity to be that, you know, to just like sort of 100%. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So I have in my so I have been sexually assaulted in my past and have also had two abusive marriages in different ways, one physical, one emotional. But when I that's one another reason why I didn't know if I would be able to handle the lifestyle because of my past, but I cannot even begin to tell you how much sexual healing I've had. And now I have flipped the script. And instead of seeing sex as something negative because of the assault or the abuse from men, the men in the lifestyle have been so loving and so kind and compassionate and just go at my pace. And like women hold the power in the lifestyle. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's like, you know, I think in the vanilla world, everybody assumes the men hold the power, but in the lifestyle, the woman is the one that holds the power. And so just in this environment and just in my journey, I have had so much sexual healing that even people that are close to me, they're like, Wow, you've gone so far. And I just I feel like every positive experience I have, like you said, like these women fucking the war out of, I mean, the war out of the men, I feel like every time I've had a positive sexual experience, it has Has erased a bad experience that I've had or a piece of a bad experience that I've had.
SPEAKER_02That's amazing. That's yeah.
SPEAKER_05Even though I'm not with my original partner that entered the lifestyle with, and we have gone our separate ways, the best gift that relationship gave me was entering me into the lifestyle. I don't think I would have ever found it. And I mean, I wish that I'd found it in my 20s. I would have never gotten married. But I did. But I'm just so glad that I found it in my 40s and not in my 70s. You know what I mean? Like I just, even though I didn't find it in my 20s, like I wish I had, um, I'm so grateful that I am able to experience all that I'm able to experience. I look at people and I'm like, God, y'all are missing out. Y'all are missing out on the like this amazing environment and culture. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, I I kind of like because I
Marvin's Struggle With Monogamy
SPEAKER_02mean I came from, I mean, I I got married. Well, I mean, originally actually I thought I was going to be a Catholic priest and be salad, but and then that, you know, that plan fell apart. Thankfully, thankfully I didn't follow along that path. Um, but then I got, you know, then I got married. And I mean, I was married to a, you know, we had a great sex life, but I was not a monogamous person.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so I became more and more depressed and thinking something was wrong with me. And I never like physically cheated on her, but I had multiple kind of emotional affairs and you know, which put strain on the relationship because she is very monogamous. And so, you know, we ultimately divorced, but we're friends now, and you know, we kind of went through that journey together. But I know that I I don't regret that path because it all brought me to where I am today, but I recognize that I I made choices because I didn't know anything else. You know, and so yeah, I mean, I do think that like for the people out there that choose monogamy from the place of they know their options and they haven't been presented in a way that this is right and this is wrong.
SPEAKER_04Correct.
SPEAKER_02And that's what they want, they want, you know, then good for them. But like for all the people that chose what they chose because they didn't know anything else. And then, you know, like what you've been through to find out that oh, there's I could have, you know, chosen this life instead. What?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, I think that and I think that's true even for like, I mean, I had another guest on the podcast who and you know, and she's monogamous, her and her husband have been married for a long time, but uh, she discovered like practicing with a jade egg to train her vagina to, you know, be more sensitive and all that kind of stuff. And she I don't know how long she I think she said it was a few weeks and she started to notice a difference in terms of how sensitive her vagina was to his cock and like it the increased sensation and all that. But at some point she had what she described as cervical orgasm, and it was the most incredible orgasm that she'd ever had. And she's like her first reaction after having that was she was pissed because she was like, I think 40, and she was like, Why the fuck did it take this long for me to find out that I could have orgasms like this? So yeah, and I'm like, you know, the the reason is because we make this topic so taboo that we just can't talk about it.
SPEAKER_05And
Learning About Sex Through Community
SPEAKER_05well, that's like there's I'm part of an ethical nommonogamous group, Discord group that's local, and there is a subgroup within the group of the women that are ethically nomogamous, and they had like a sex toy party where we were gonna learn how to use all these different devices. And I purchased a pussy pump, and this whole time I have not been using it correctly. And so one of the other girls in the group was like, Oh, yeah, have one of those. And I was like, I don't, I can't, I don't think I'm doing something wrong. I can purchase this. And I tried to use it, and I know it's supposed to do this. And she goes, Well, how are you using it? And it was just like one of those things where I could never go to a neighbor or a vanilla friend and be like, Can you please explain to me how to work with this pussy pump? But it was nothing for me to call and talk to this girl in my group and her being like, Oh yeah, maybe we can get together, I can show it, give you a demo. You know what I mean? Like it just I didn't think twice of her saying that. And it's just like the things that you learn in these groups and then this environment, it like you say, and it there's so many toys and tricks and things that I've tried and things that I've done that I'm just like it's
Zoey's Double Penetration Experience
SPEAKER_05like I had in twenty in 2024, I had a vanilla bucket list and a sexual bucket list that every single month I was gonna try something new. And I have started that same thing for 2025. Every month I'm gonna do one new sexual thing that I've never done before and one vanilla thing I've never done before.
SPEAKER_02So so now I'm really curious. So would if you were to pick a few things that you've done say in the last two years that were just real highlights for you that you were like, that was fucking amazing. Like, what would be some that you were like, I'm doing that again?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So my primary play partner that I have right now, he has a house on the coast and had like a little mini lifestyle getaway where there was three couples, like me and him and two other couples. And I had never, I I love anal sex and I love vaginal sex, but I have never done double penetration. And so yeah, and so all the guys are bi curious, and so I felt I knew that they would be okay with being in close proximity and like I just felt comfortable asking, and I said, This is something that I've always wanted to do. I'm kind of nervous about doing it. I don't know if my body like what it would be like, but I feel like this is the setting and the weekend that I should try something like this. And my primary partner wanted to be on bottom where I was riding him because he wanted to be able to see my face when I was in dirt, like when the DP was taking place. And it was the most erotic and hottest thing. And it was like, oh my God, it was so incredible. I loved it. Now, of course, women have to like anal sex in order to really get into it, but it was just like I took a gummy uh just to kind of relax me a little bit. And it was just the most intense experience that I'd had up until that point, and I just loved it. And they were so, like I said, they were so good and like, yeah. And I don't know how because both of them are extremely well endowed. Like I remember my partner being like, Are you sure you want to do this? And I was like, Yeah, I want to do this. Have you seen how big his cock is? And do you want that going in your ass while I'm in your vagina? Are you sure about this? Yes, I'm positive.
SPEAKER_02So like, give it to me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and it was like it was so good, so good. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh I love that. Yay! I know yay. Um well, so okay, so can I ask you about so so what about it? I mean, I imagine there was probably just physical sensation that was intensified.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Did was there something about the anal penetration that intensified the vaginal stimulation? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Back and forth, or and it was like they had to really kind of coordinate like with each other a little bit as far as like I had to be completely like a noodle. I had to like completely relax, which is kind of hard to do when you're like trying to like finagle these positions. But at the same time, it just was like one of those things where I just felt this incredible closeness to both of them. And I could feel both of them like massaging me internally. And it was just one of those insane, so hard to put into words, but it was just like very erotic and just very sensual. And then just the way they were touching me, my body, the guy that was, you know, anally entering me, he was rubbing his hands like he had massage all, and he was just like scratching my back and like rubbing my back while he was entering me. Whereas I was like literally laying chest to chest with my other partner, and he was kissing me and looking at me and making sure I was okay. And it just was like, like I never felt so much love and just attention, and uh yeah, it was just incredible.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's cool.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, I can see, I mean, as you're describing it, I'm just thinking to be in a situation where, especially if you've come from previous experience of trauma, yeah. Be in this moment with these two cocks inside of you and like big cocks inside of you, you're experiencing them as safety and love and affection, like how that would be could be the way that you experienced it of just like this total reversal of the story.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But like big cocks can be safe.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02That's I can see that being really powerful.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And both of them are very passionate lovers in general, one-on-one. And I've been with both one-on-one. So to have them together with me was just like mind-boggling. Yeah. So the only thing this so in the month of April, we're going back to this coastal house with some different people, but some people that I've played with, same primary partner. And he was like, you know, what's one of the things you want to do? And I was like, Well, I want to do airtight. And so one of the guys was like, What's airtight? And I said, Well, my definition of airtight is someone in my vagina, someone in my ass, and I'm giving someone a blowjob.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yay. Is this gonna be a first time for you? Yeah, okay. All right, yeah, you're gonna have to come back on the show that we'll tell us all about your great.
SPEAKER_05So, yeah, so I'm gonna have the experience again, but then I wanted to add another another cock to the mix.
SPEAKER_02So I love it. I'm just thinking about the fact that you grew up in the south and there's all this like narrative of you're supposed to this and you're not supposed to that. Is there any kind of eroticism and fun for you around you doing this thing that so breaks the rules of sure you yes? You're like, hey, how you like me now? I'm like, I gotta cock in my house, and what am I busy on in my mouth, and you know, Mr. Blah blah blah, you know. Oh,
Exhibitionism and Public Play
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_05And I'm a huge exhibitionist. At the sex club, I'm the one that's on the bed that everybody gets to watch. And half the time I'm like, come join us. This is so much fun. Like, don't you, you know, I'm the one, one of the ones that gets naked first and has no problems like fucking in public. When I took my primary partner to a sex club, he had never been. And so I was like, started like fondling him in front of all these people like that were just sitting around. And then I was like, Can I give you a blowjob? And he's like, I've never done that before. I was like, Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, I won't. He was like, No. And he's like, I cannot believe I'm just getting a blowjob in the sex club in front of all these people. And I was like, Well, and I was like, Well, how do you feel? And he's like, It's hot. And then he was so wrecked, I was like, I just I have to fuck it. Like, I just can't let it go without like doing something with it. And so when I got to superior, I just pulled my dress up and started having sex with. And so he just was like, I can't believe you don't have any inhibitions. And I think that's another thing. Everything's behind closed doors, and you aren't supposed to do this, and you're not supposed to do that in public. And it's just like, fuck it. Just yeah, like this is a place where you can. So, you know what? I can have sex here, and no one tells me I can't, then that is exactly what I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I'm curious about your exhibitionism because I'm also I have a kind of an exhibitionistic thing. And I know for me, I think the reason why I'm so I guess turned on by it, but it's more than that. Like it's something to do with like it's kind of strangely soothing for my soul. And I think it's because, you know, I go about my day-to-day life, I go to the grocery store, I go to wherever I'm moving about, and inside I know I'm a very sexual person. But there's this disconnect between who I feel like I'm presenting to the world and what I know to be the truth about me, which is I'm actually really sexual, and I just can't I don't feel like I can like just wear that like a badge because you know, I live in a world that is so uncomfortable with it. And so, you know, to have a moment where it's like kind of throwing off the constraints of and where I'm wit, I'm witnessed, you know, by other people in my sexuality, or there's a risk that I might, you know, be and I've just like cast off the constraints of that seem that feels so exhilarating and liberating to me. Oh, for sure. Yeah. So you relate to that.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah, for sure. And like when we went to that particular sex club, we eventually made it because he felt more comfortable, even though we were having sex there. He was like, I think I would feel more comfortable if we're on the one of those beds, but in the exhibition room. And I said, Okay, we'll go over there. But like while we're on there, you know, this couple, this girl asked if she could touch me. And I was like, Yeah, you can come touch me. I was like, join in. You know, they ended up coming and playing with us, and we had this amazing sexual experience with them that we would not have had had we been in a room by ourselves, you know. And I and I I tell people all the time when I go to sex clubs and stuff, like, if we spent money to be here to have fun and enjoy socializing. And if we had just wanted to come here and have sex, we could have stayed stayed home and saved a whole hell of a lot of money. You know what I mean? But like, if we're gonna be here, let's live it up and be on display, which is sometimes very inviting to other people and they see you having fun and they're like, Oh, I want to join in. And then you're like, okay, I've actually, this sounds crazy, but I've made friends at sex clubs and resorts that are now Facebook friends with me. And when I went on a trip with my primary partner, it I we went and saw a lifestyle couple that I met at that resort, the clothing optional resort, that I've stayed friends with. And it was just like a long-lost friend that you just pick up right, where you left off. And we ended up like going to dinner with them and then going back to their hot tub and seeing their secret sex room and having sex at their place. But had I not been an exhibitionist and an extrovert at the resort, I would have known I would have missed out on this friendship. You know what I mean? And so it's just really cool how when you just live your authentic, true life that you're meant to live, the people that you get to interact with that become like lifestyle friends around the world. Like it's just it's it's so super
How Many Filthy People Are There?
SPEAKER_05cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, some people in the lifestyle have like certain symbols like pineapples or whatever that they use to kind of signal to other people that you know, but I don't know. I always kind of wonder like if you could somehow know like there was a radar that was reliable that you could know how many people that are non-monogamous and are open and or curious or whatever, how how many people that is in the world? Yeah, you know, because I because like uh for sure there's been so much shadow around being able to talk about it. And that's why I wanted to do this podcast is like I don't want to blow the doors up the freaking closets and and start to normalize this conversation with whatever I can do. But anyway, all that to say that yeah, it's like there's this there is this shame, there is this taboo, and it and it's like, and so we don't really know what the truth is in terms of where people really are at and like what their authentic expression is like until you find them in experiences like what you've had.
SPEAKER_05I mean, they didn't say like as far as I mean, I've done this a couple of times, no one's ever said anything, but even taking the pineapples and put them upside down in your grocery cart when you go in the grocery store and stuff like that, no one's ever done no one's ever stopped me and been like, okay, waiting one day. Yeah, you're gonna I know you never know, but yeah, it I do wonder sometimes, and I have had some instances where I have run into people that I know at places, and I'm like, Oh my god, I did not know that that person, you know, and so that's been a shock. But then I'm like, Well, they're here for the same reason I'm here.
SPEAKER_02We're all equally disclosed to each other in private. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I'd say that's true for me too, that I've seen people uh, you know, in my day-to-day out in the world that I happen to have also seen. I mean, there's one woman in particular, it's kind of funny we run into each other all over the place and going back to that ex exhibitionism thing. I mean, I was at a party and she was there and it was a pool party and it was a big party. There were a lot of people there. And I mean, you know, we were kind of vibing and feeling each other, and I went down on her. She was like sitting on the side of the pool, and I was eating her out, and she came on my face in front of all these people. And I mean, I love to do that anytime.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But but there was something about that experience of doing that with all of those witnesses that just made it a thousand times more exhilarating, you know, for me, and to feel no shame about it, you know, to be like, wow, we just did this in the middle of this huge group of people on the edge of this pool in broad daylight, and then later to run it or the grocery store, you know, or the humane society or whatever, and be like, hey. Which does make me think, who else? You know.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I know. Who else that I don't know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05After having an interaction with a former neighbor slash co-worker, I'm like, nothing will phase me anymore.
SPEAKER_02So yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05You just never know. You never know who you're gonna run into.
SPEAKER_02Well, okay, so we know that in in the near future for you is the triple penetration.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02Are there
Organized Orgies
SPEAKER_02any are there any stories that you feel like that was like a a naughty Zoey mountaintop that I was on that I'm proud of? How much that would drop some people's jaws.
SPEAKER_05So I've had some orgy experiences that were super hot. I've been to some organized orgies, which were a lot of fun where the guys all stood in the line and we instead of shaking hands, we sucked cocks. And so we wore sexy outfits, and so the guys stood there and watched all the women make out and go down on each other. There was a double dildo that was being used, there were strap-ons and stuff like that, and we were just having fun in our lingerie, and literally the guys just sat there stroking themselves and like getting turned on, watching us in a semicircle around the bed, and there were six couples. So yeah, six couples. So then, like, we did that for a little bit, and then we got up, and then the girls went down like an assembly line, and the guys stood there and we just went from penis to penis and did like 30 seconds to a minute blow job on each person. And then we stood up and then we just started playing, and so it was really cool. So the my partner that I took with me to that party, like he and I were like right next to each other, and that's like our thing. Like when I'm playing with someone and he's playing with someone, we like to be near each other so we can kind of touch. And I just he like looked at me and he was like, Zoe, this is like the best, like, like in this, like the best ever, like in this like heaven, like we just get to sit here and get fucked, each of us to like share this experience and be right next to each other. And I was like, Oh my god, yeah. But what's really cool is like he was a girl was riding his face and he could not see me, but his cock was exposed. And I went to the bathroom and I came out of the bathroom, and I just started like giving him a blowjob, and and then he like paused for a second. He's like, I can tell that's Zoe giving me a blowjob because I can, you know, like her technique or whatever. And I have I give penis massages and it's a penis massage, not a blowjob, penis massage, much different. And I have this thing that I do when I suck men's balls that most of the girls, I guess, don't know that I do. Like, I've had girls ask me to teach them how to do it because their partners are like, that was fucking amazing. And I don't know what the hell she did, but please learn that technique. So he knew it was me, but what he didn't know is then I just turned around and reverse cowgirl on him. So he's like eating this girl out to her on her face, and I'm reverse cowgirl on him, and I just heard him moaning like he was like in heaven, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so that was pretty cool.
SPEAKER_05And I've had some pretty hot male, female, male experiences too, where some byplay with between the men took place, and then of course, me, and that was super hot too. And you seeing my guy give another guy a blowjob, and the guy's like losing their ever loving mind. I'm then looking and taking notes. Okay, what are they doing? Right, like I can improve my oral skills.
SPEAKER_02Right, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so I feel like those are some moments and some stories that I have told our mutual friend, and her jaw has dropped, and she's like, She's just like, you know, like and I even have pictures. The host somebody took a picture of the assembly line of guys and dicks and videos and stuff were taken. But yeah, it was just really just a whole huge pile of people. Like just having fun and exploring and like, yeah. I mean, I just think that that's the coolest thing ever. What's cool is at this organized orgy, I knew all of the men except for one. And some of them are my really good friends. And so you're staring up at them and you're like flirting with your eyes or saying an inside joke or whatever. You know what I mean? And it's just like really cool to have that, yeah, kind of flirty fun. And he's like, Oh, I wasn't expecting you to just turn around reverse cowgirl like that. And he just thought it was the coolest thing ever. I was like, Yeah, your her cock, your cock was hard. It was out in the open, it needed to be put to use. So I decided you probably wouldn't care if somebody was fucking you while you were eating a girl out.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like the you get to witness yourself. Like this is what I look like when I'm free.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Right? Like when I just get to be myself. Yeah. I mean, I love that. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's really cool.
Recommended Resources for Curious Listeners
SPEAKER_02Hey, uh, what if if somebody's listening to this and they're like, I would like to learn more about this lifestyle thing, do you have a website that you recommend to people that are curious? They could go and you know, in the privacy of there that they could learn more.
SPEAKER_05I don't know about the website, but I feel like podcasts are where I kind of got my start. So, like the first podcast that I listened to was Two Hot Wives. And so I was fascinated with the whole Hot Wife concept. And they talked about sexual trauma on there, they had an episode, and that's what got me into it because I didn't know if I would be able to enter the lifestyle. So I kind of like sought out people's stories more than actual information at first. Um that was like very inspiring to me. But you know, like there's Cassidy, there's SLS, there's SDC, and so I used to do a lot of meet and greets and like local events and even Fet Life. So I'd have a whole kinky side to me. And so yeah, so I'd the next episode, y'all.
SPEAKER_02Zoe's kinky side, episode two.
SPEAKER_05But they have local events, and I felt like that was another way that I learned is going to events, asking questions, going to socials. There's a kink festival here, and it's like a two-day event where you take classes. So there were classes on wax play and flogging and consent, and then they had demonstrations, and so I got to be suspended Shibari style, and that was where I learned. Like I would go to convention type events and actually learn and observe. I'm more of a hands-on person of learning as opposed to just reading something. Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_02I've had a little exposure to the kink community because in the poly community in Nashville, there was like a lot of crossover with the kink community. And so I ended up meeting a lot of people in the kink community because I would be looking for, you know, the people that were polyamorous, and there was a dungeon here that they would host events. And the the events that I went to weren't kink events, but I mean you just walk through and you would see kind of everything, and it's like, whoa, look at this. This is what what's that for, you know? So yeah. So yeah, but um, so yeah, well, you're gonna I'm gonna have to entice you to come back to talk about your kinks ed.
SPEAKER_05I'm like an onion, I have many layers.
SPEAKER_02I love it, I love it. I'm so glad that we met. Conversation. You're a gym.
SPEAKER_05Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. It was so much fun coming on here.
SPEAKER_02I really good, good. Well, you're a gift. I know a lot of people are gonna really enjoy this conversation.
SPEAKER_05Thank you.
Marvin aka Morgan HaleThanks for listening to Filthy Little Secrets. I hope we left you feeling light, free, and inspired to explore your filthy sexual horizons. If you want more, subscribe to get all the filthy feature funds. If you're a sex positive woman and you'd like to burn another bra of chain, I want to talk to you. Wanna come on the show and tell your story? Go to Morganhale Books.com slash podcast to learn more. That's M-O-R-A-N-H-A-L-B books.com slash podcast. Until next time, this is Morgan Hale.