SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real everyday women get real about sex. We're here to shatter stigma and trample taboo one candid conversation at a time. My name's Marvin, but my readers know me as Morgan Hale, filthy romance author. And I'm your host for this heart-to-heart chat about something most of us think about, dream about, and even yearn for. But few of us feel comfortable admitting it, talking about it, or celebrating it. So let's get filthy together.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Alright, well, I'm very excited today to introduce you to someone who is a coach for me, a friend for me, an inspiration for me. She's just a light and a one of a kind. Thank you for being here, Kyra Casey.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

I am so excited. I'm so proud of this whole creation. I cannot wait to continue witnessing the unfolding of this.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Yeah, I mean, this was born out of a chat with your friend of mine, Jenny Bittner, and we just it was unexpected, but it felt so right. Thank you for being a part of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

I'm in it to win it, baby. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

So we're here to talk about sex, and I know we're going to talk about pole dancing, but I was wondering before we do, just to set the stage for people who may not know your story. I think it's awesome for what's possible for people. Because if it's possible for Kyra, it's possible for anybody. You know, you've come through some things in your life that could have given you a great reason to not be interested in sex and not be interested in men. And you know, you decided that that wasn't going to be your story, though, that you wanted those things in your future. Would you be okay with just touching on some of those parts of your story and how you moved through it and got here?

SPEAKER_04 1:49

I think what you're speaking to is probably when I was raped at 15 by three men. And I think the conversation of that being so powerful is because if you fast forward now, I'm 37 and you know that I healed that at the age of 19 and really liberated myself from the trauma of that and the residual of that. And I think most people, at least that I have spoken to that have had an experience of rape or sexual abuse, have a really difficult time in releasing that and feeling comfortable and self-expressed, you know, being intimate with someone or trusting someone. I've also gone through a couple divorces. My first one, I caught my ex-husband having an affair. And I really just refuse to allow anything in my life to stop me from having the greatest experience of myself and of pleasure and of sex and love and all the things.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

I love that. Thank you for telling that. Yeah, and if you want to know more about that story, Kyra's all over the internet. But yeah, that's such an incredible example of what's possible. So yeah, so present day, you love sex.

SPEAKER_04 2:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

I think sex is important. Like, sex is such an opportunity to really experience the pleasure of being human. And I know for a lot of people there's shame around sexual pleasure, whether that's with another person or it's with self. And I find that sex is such a beautiful gateway to expressing and connecting and really just being in play and being in pleasure with someone else, or like I said, with ourselves. Like I love self-pleasure just as much as I love connecting with a person.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Yes, me too. And that took me a while to get to that. Cause I mean, I had uh, I mean, I've been self-pleasuring since like eighth grade, but I had so much shame about it when I was younger, and you know, had like journals of like apologies to Jesus for having masturbated again. Um but uh I mean now I'm really like finally at 52 at a place where it's like I recognize that this is divine, and it's like there's this incredible release of energy, and I experience it. I mean, I don't know if you experience it this way, but when I have an orgasm, my heart blows open. Like I can feel this incredible, just explosive kind of opening of my heart, and I can I feel connected to you know divinity and and something bigger than me.

SPEAKER_04 4:26

And do you feel like a part of that is also though, due to the fact that you meditate and you've done Joe Dispenses events? Would you feel like that has made a difference? Because I feel like, you know, I think there's sometimes a different experience to every orgasm. Sometimes they're like, at least for me, sometimes you're like, ah, like it was okay. And then other ones you're like, I don't know where I went, but take me there again.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah, that's a good question. I haven't really thought about that before. I mean, that may be the case because really when I say that, like I'm describing how it is for me now, you know, when I have an orgasm. Because I think, yeah, before when I was younger, I I mean, I think I had this euphoric experience, but it was immediately like followed by this just wash of shame. I mean, I'm I'm really grateful that I don't have that now because it was a long long time to be that way. Yeah. Well, I think you've kind of answered this question, but I mean, when when I went out, I was like, hey ladies, you one who wants to talk about sex? Like, what what made you want to say yes to being online conversation about this topic?

SPEAKER_04 5:34

About sex. Well, first of all, I love you, and I also love this topic. And I think for me, you know, in the work that I do, I never wanted to have any aspect of myself. I never wanted to feel like I had to hide aspects of myself, which is why I dropped out of college. I wanted to really be able to impact people, and I wanted to do that without sacrificing my self-expression and just the real raw truth of who I am as a human. And sex is part of that, and self-pleasure is part of that. And you know, I'm a very self-expressed woman. So for me, when you were talking about this, this is one of those topics and conversations that can feel really taboo and soiled and shameful for a lot of people. And it's not for me. And I really want there to be for the people that want it an opportunity to really experience, especially if you're somebody in business, that you don't have to diminish aspects of yourself to be powerful in the work that you do. In fact, I think that we're more powerful when we bring a hundred percent of ourselves and we're not actually trying to hide the fullness of who we are.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Yep, absolutely. You've convinced me of that. I mean, you really have. I mean, I'm feeling that so much now. And if I look back, I've always been happiest when I'm just in like complete authenticity, and I've kind of moved in and out of it, you know, got scared. But yeah, I mean, it's been a journey, but anyway, caused a reset for me back to just like, come on, let's go. Let's fucking go as you say. I love it. Let's fucking go. Yeah, I love it. I want to be authentic, so yeah, and sexuality is a big part of it for me too. I love that you know your heart is for women. And is that fair to say that I mean, I know you're obviously you've done a lot for me, and I'm not a woman, but I mean you know, surprisingly, I have a lot of men that do come to work with me.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

They're not in like some of my public containers, but privately. And I've always worked with men ever since I was 24 years old and I had an office, I had men coming to me. So, you know, when I moved into the online space and there was this conversation of really having to niche down, the easiest thing for me to go to is women. But my work is not just for women, it is for men as well. And I actually do have a lot of men that reach out to me and that want to work with me, and they do.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

I think the reason I'm bringing that up is because I love the way that you lead as a woman who is liberated in her sexuality, because I do believe that women are particularly challenged in terms of when it comes to shame around sexuality in our culture. I see you as kind of a hero in that regard, the way that you that you just are liberated and talk about it. Because I know that there's other women that's inspiring for and liberating for. And so I'm grateful for that about you. So, what do you love about your sexuality?

SPEAKER_04 8:24

I think being liberated in it is something that I love. Like, you know, when you're speaking to that, I think about, yeah, there's women that are inspired, but there's also a lot of times where, like, I'll never forget I was doing this masterclass called The Unreasonable Woman, and I had this white blouse on and it was all the way open. I think it was all the way open, there was no bra underneath, and like, so you could see a ton of cleavage because I was kind of holding it together. And that was the graphic that I used for the masterclass. And I, you know, this email was sent out to my list, and then I had this one woman respond to it, and she was so mad, and she was like, I don't know who does your marketing, but I would fire them, I would never hire you. She said something to the effect of like something like your ginormous, your massive boobs, and she was so offended. And I I just thought, you know, it's so interesting when it's other women that are shaming other women because they're so uncomfortable within themselves. But for me, I think the thing I love most about my sexuality and just where I am at this stage of my life is I can experience that duality from another woman or a man, and it just doesn't even have me question how I'm showing up or who I am. Like I love myself so fully that that doesn't penetrate me in a negative way.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

I love you for doing that too, because that I think, I mean, for me, I feel like it's given me permission. Because I had like when I posted about this podcast, I mean, there was a guy who I don't even know how I got to be Facebook friends, but he made a comment that was judgmental of me. And I was like, What would Kyra do?

SPEAKER_04 9:58

I love it! What would Kyra do?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Uh well, I mean, it just the thought of it and remembering how I've witnessed you responding to things like that, I was just like so able to be like, This is about him, it's not about me. Totally and then just to love him and have gratitude because I'm like, I know the divine brought this, this is an initiation, it's like a little initiation that's been brought to me, courtesy of the sky, and to be able to kind of just check in and be like, How am I feeling? How what do I need to release around this? And yeah, it was a gift, you know. And I know there's gonna be more of that for me, and that's cool. Bring it on. Yeah, there will be. Yeah, well, you just answered uh the next question I was gonna ask you. So if you could go back to your 18-year-old self and speak to her about her sexuality, what would you say to her?

SPEAKER_04 10:50

This is a really good question. I'm like trying to think of myself at 18 and my sexuality at that time. I feel like I would fast forward more to when I was 20 and I was dating, I was 20 dating a 40-year-old, and God, we were having like wild sex, but it was so it wasn't, you know, at that time I wasn't experiencing the level of confidence and and self-acceptance that I have today. And so it was really more about like my getting off was about pleasing him versus a balance and he's pleased and I'm pleased. And so now it's like if I'm gonna have sex or if I'm self-pleasuring, like I want to be pleased just as much as I want you to be pleased. So I think looking back, it would there would be an understanding that as a woman, I get to experience pleasure in this exchange as well, versus feeling like you desiring me is dependent on me giving myself to you at the expense of my joy.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Cool.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

And I was a wild child. I mean, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah. Well, I mean, do you want to tell any stories about that?

SPEAKER_04 11:57

Like, do you have an example of Cairo as a wild child that's it just was like I I think a lot of that had to do with my self-expression, and I think because my mom was so comfortable with with the human body, and we were just raised that you know, boobs are just boobs, it just doesn't matter. There was never this discomfort with sexuality or with body parts. And so it was almost weird for me if there was shame or discomfort or or trying to hide that. So it gave me a lot more freedom to be playful and to experiment in how I would dress. And, you know, some days I would dress in these little mini skirts, and other days I was in full-on track suits. And so there was just this freedom for me to play and to be fully self-expressed. And I think that created a lot of, you know, sexual attention from men as I was growing up.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Mm-hmm. So when that happened for you, but being somebody who was liberated, how did you experience that?

SPEAKER_04 12:57

You know, when I was in my teens and in my early 20s, I was still working on that liberation. And especially because I'm so empathic and psychic and I can feel, I would be able to feel the sexual energy and I would also hear the thoughts. And so sometimes it would feel intrusive and I wouldn't want that. And other times it I would be curious about it. So it kind of went both ways. Like I remember there were times, like I was a big runner, and you know, construction workers, of course, like I'd be in like the tight shorts, the sports bra, you know, I'm sweating, it's hot out, I'm running, and like they're looking. And and at that time I would be like irritated, but it's kind of like, of course, they're looking. You're half naked, you know? And so I think now there's just such an acceptance of the way even men or women are just curious about bodies or their perspective of it. None of it impacts me the way that it used to when I was growing up.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

I love that. I'm just thinking about that from the perspective of being because I've been like the guy driving down, you know, the road and seeing some attractive women jogging and be like, I mean, there's even like who hasn't?

SPEAKER_04 14:05

I've done it even with men, like, hey daddy, you know, like we all do it.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Yeah, we all I do it to this day on my own.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

But I just think like how amazing would it be if we were all on this level of consciousness that we're all one, first of all, you know, like we're all part of this like greater consciousness, and so if it could happen in a way that was just love and admiration and celebration, and I mean, you just kind of got my whole thinking there for a second about the other thing I was thinking about too is like you know, what would the world look like? I I think about this sometimes, like, what would the world look like if women were just there wasn't that shame around the body, you know, there wasn't that slut shaming that we put on women who are sexual. Like, what would the world look like if they were free? And to me, you know, that's one of the things I experience around you is that you too have this incredible freedom, and it's so safe to be around you because you have that freedom and it's contagious, you know. You sort of hiergate some other people, and everybody starts to just feel free and relaxed and playful. So obviously, you're one of my heroes when it comes to sexual liberation. But do you have any female sex heroes that inspire you?

SPEAKER_04 15:28

That's a really good question. And off the top of my head, I don't. When it comes to that, there isn't actually anybody that I would look up to in that way. I've actually never been asked that question and I've never contemplated it, but there isn't anyone.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Yeah. To me, that says something about how much work there is to do in that particular yeah, really, right? Because you're that means you're on the edge.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

I never thought about that. You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Well, more heroes rise. We're calling for them to rise all around, all around the planet. It's time. Okay, so this might not be something that you want to participate in, but I'm just like curious if if we were to imagine your future person, and because I've heard tell from you that you have some texting game. If you were gonna send them a text after this podcast, what might any part of that be that you'd be comfortable sharing that you might say to them to be like, hey, babe?

SPEAKER_04 16:32

Like sexting, yeah. So this is okay. So this is the thing about me. Like, for anybody that knows erotic blueprints, I'm an energetic. And so anytime someone asks me a question like that, my answer is it depends on my energy. Yeah, it might be super like eh, and then it might be like, we gotta make sure we delete that because if anyone sees it, I don't know. You know, yeah, it would really, it would depend. It would depend on what I want. You know, do I want them to like just go down and pleasure me for an hour or eat cake out of my pussy? Do I wanna be like bent over the bed and and fucked from behind? Like, what do I want? You know, it would totally depend on what I want.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

Cool, gotcha. In the moment we'll know. Um, do you okay? So, okay, so it sounds like that there's a variety of things that could be exciting. Totally, yeah, yeah. And I know in classes that I've been in that you've taught, you have this part of you that can be like sort of dominatrix energy a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Totally, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Um do you also kind of and I kind of want to talk about that, but in the other spectrum of where you're just surrendered and receiving, is that also a thing for you?

SPEAKER_04 17:50

A hundred percent. I love both. There are times where I want to be just full on telling you what to do. I also love teasing, that's one of my things. I just really enjoy that, which is why I also love my poll. So there's that aspect of me that loves to be in charge and very dominant, and then there's the other part of me that's like, it's your turn. I want to fully surrender. I can do both, and I love both.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Very cool. I'm tempted to go deeper into it, and maybe we will in a second, but you brought up the pole dancing, and I'm gonna make sure we talk about that. So you mentioned that pole dancing was something that you brought into your life as a um a way to heal. Can you talk about that?

SPEAKER_04 18:33

Like what how yeah, I you know, I had I went to a pole dancing class and I fell in love with it. I just loved it. I love dancing and I also love to work out, and it combined the two things. I had no idea how hard it was to work a pole to climb up it to do the spins until I tried and I couldn't do it. I was always a fit person. I remember I went to one class and I fell in love and I just wanted to go back to it, but I never did. And then after I went through my first divorce, I decided that I was gonna put a pole in my house and I was just gonna use that as a way to dance and move my body. And so I put a pole in my bedroom. And what happened was, you know, there were times where I would express myself and it would be, you know, I'd put on maybe like a stripper outfit or whatever. I've I've never stripped at a strip club, but I would go to Lover's Lane and I would get sexy outfits and the heels. And sometimes I would just move my body in erotic ways. And there were other times where if I was feeling like, God, I'm I'm sad that I'm moving through this, I'm having a moment. Sometimes I would put on, and these would be like my Friday, Saturday nights, like by myself. Other times I would put on this really slow music, and maybe it was a song that brought up a memory of something, or if I was feeling a specific way about my first ex-husband when I was working through my grief, I would put that song on and I would just move. And it wasn't about sexual movement, it was just expressive movement. And so I to this day, I have a poll. I have a pole in my bedroom now, and I love it. I love it for play and I love it for healing. I love it for self-expression, and I recommend everybody get one.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Everybody get a pole in your bedroom, everyone get a pole in your bedroom.

SPEAKER_04 20:17

Yeah, make sure you install it properly. I have definitely fallen off of it before.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 20:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_04 20:28

Yeah, I've definitely experienced that.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

Oh well. Gotcha. But you're like back at it. Get this pull back at it, yeah. Installed correctly and let me get back on it. Cool. So, so like the dominatrix thing, like when you are in that energy, what is it about that for you? I'm I'm assuming sexually, but also like just from head to toe. What does it feel like for you? What does it bring out of you?

SPEAKER_04 20:57

I think you know, I'm pretty masculine as it is in my energy. Like, I've got a lot of that leadership energy. And I think because I'm so clear on what I want, that when I want something, like I'm gonna voice it. I'm not shy. So I will ask for what I want. And if I don't like the way something's being done, like I'm not gonna sit there and tolerate it. Like I'm gonna be like, and you're you're done with that, and here's what you're gonna do instead. So I really believe that like women could do they could do a better job and actually voicing what it is that they want. But I also have found that, you know, because I self-pleasured, I think I was in middle school when I started masturbating. And because I I did that and I reached orgasms by myself. And of course, to this day, I want to experience that. So for me, it's like I want to be able to direct you. Sometimes I just love being in that, like, you know, Pyra's way or your out way. Like get my way or get out. Um, sometimes, and I think this is why I used to have a thing for sleep. With police officers, and you know, cops are very much in a masculine dominant role, and I think for me to be able to kind of flip that on them was always really fun for me, it was almost like a challenge, except it wasn't when I got them in the bedroom because, like, you know, they would submit if that's what I wanted.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

So, did you get to use their handcuffs on them at any point?

SPEAKER_04 22:25

I don't think I ever wanted to use them on them, but I did, I did when I was 20. I was dating a police officer who he was, this was the 40-year-old, and he was six foot four. Just he was one of those cops that if he pulled you over, like, you know, ego is present, just kind of a jerk. And he asked me one day, he I came to his house one day and he said he had a gift for me. And I opened it up and it was a strap-on, and I had never used one before. And he wanted me to use it on him, and I was like, I was terrified, but I was also in love. And I'm like, listen, I will do anything that does not involve like children or animals. So like I'll do this, but I actually didn't like it. I found myself really turned off, but I was in it to win it, so I did it, but I wouldn't want to do that again.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yeah, gotcha. Like, strap-ons are that's no.

SPEAKER_04 23:18

It was just too, I just felt like I felt like a man versus feeling dominant and powerful as a woman, and that I didn't like.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah, I hear you.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

I've actually been on the receiving end of the strap-on before, and you know, it was also one of those experiences that uh I mean, I would like box checked, but box checked. Um I'm not sure that's like something I um would want to.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

My thighs were burning. I don't know how you he was he was on the bottom, and I he had like his legs spread in a V, and which kind of horrified me. My legs, my thighs the next day, like I give you all props, okay?

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Yeah, I mean, I have you know, to me, this is like one of those things that it's like a great reason to be in the gym because I mean a certain amount of stamina required to totally, you know, especially if you want to be in that long enough for like maybe multiple orgasms, you know, for your partner. I mean, you're gonna need to be able to, and I mean, I've definitely had moments where my legs are shaking.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

Same when you're on top and you're holding the slot position.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's like I'm feeling this, but my legs are kind of yeah. That's kind of one of those things that I'm like girls of, you know, I would love to continue to increase my stamina in that way because yeah, I mean, I'm part of what I want to create is longer, more mystical, amazing sexual communion with someone.

SPEAKER_04 24:50

But the legs have gotta be able to the legs have gotta be in it to win it because if they're not, you're out.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Gotta be able to hang in there. So yeah, all right, let's see. Um, is there anything about your sexuality that you think anyone but your closest friends might be surprised by?

SPEAKER_04 25:10

This is a good question. Um, is there anything they would be surprised? I I feel, I mean, my friends really wouldn't be surprised by anything, that's for sure. But the people that don't know me, hmm, there are times where I love to smoke weed and have sex. I don't drink, I don't like drinking, I've never done any other drugs, I've never done pills, I've never done plant medicine. But on occasion, if I feel like smoking, I will do that. And if I want to smoke and have sex, like that can be so much fun. But I have this rule where it's like, if I'm gonna smoke weed, I'm not smoking weed because I'm trying to feel better or I'm stressed out. Like, I do it because I feel amazing and I have a desire to do it. So that might be something that, you know, because I don't really talk about that often, but I don't talk about that because it's not a big enough part of my life. It's just something that's just so yeah, but that would be like the one thing I can think of. I feel like anybody that gets to know me even for five minutes would probably just be like, This woman is wild. I was actually getting my nails done last week. The lady, it was this new lady, and she saw, I know you're wild. I was like, Why do you say that? She's like, I just know.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

I'm like, You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

You are not wrong. I was like, is it the matte black nails? Like, what is it, you know?

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Uh-huh. Yeah, what was the clue?

SPEAKER_04 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

I don't know how I knew that really. Well, actually, yes, I do, because I mean, my introduction to you after finding a comment that you made on a Dr. Joe after the monastery thread, and I went looking for you. I think I found your website, and at the time there was that beautiful photograph of you and like the blazer, and it's open, and you're wearing this like kind of sheer bra underneath, you know, the picture I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 26:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can see my nipples, I believe.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Yeah, you can. And like at the time, the way your website was, that was like this huge banner across, so it was like there was no missing it. And I just thought, this woman is my future coach. Like, I need this person in my life. And then, and then I think I was like looking on your Instagram and saw the pictures of you in Nashville, which is where I live. And you know, in downtown and walking across the street, and like this jacket with I mean, I think you had like some kind of tassels or something like that on it. Was like this like there were two parts of that.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

One, I was just walking through downtown Nashville with only my tassels on, and then there was another part where I had like you know, my jacket open. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Yeah, yeah. But I just thought, okay, she's awesome. Uh totally dig this person. I want to know more. I I love that particularly because, you know, I mean, Nashville kind of has this history of being sort of a locus of conservativism in a lot of ways, including sexuality. And but there's also like these pockets here have been for a long time of like liberation flowers trying to yeah, but you know, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

When I went down there, I thought that I was just thinking because it was what is it, Broadway Street? What's like the downtown? I had this assumption that Nashville was just like party central, everybody was usually like that. And when I was down there, because mind you, it's like broad daylight, it was like 3 p.m. in the afternoon. The amount of angry looks and judge the energy of judgment, I was like, whoa, I was not expecting this from Nashville, but it was.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Kyra left left an impression that day.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

Yes, I know. I love you for it. I mean, I saw those pictures and I was like, yes, I mean, there's there's both in Nashville. There's but I mean, the the sexual liberation in Nashville, I feel like even still is hidden in dark corners kind of thing. It's not like out in the open yet. But yeah, I mean, um, there's a lot of great energy and great people constantly coming here, and I feel like it's constantly causing the shift in the city. So I'm excited to see what the future is. But like, you know, you doing that, I just thought that was like she's my hero. Um, how about these are like some kind of quick fire questions? So rank your preference, fingers, toys, or boys, and why?

SPEAKER_04 29:21

Rank. Oh man, I'm gonna give you the energetic response. It depends on my mood. But listen, if I if you could only leave me with one, I would say boys because I wanted I would rather play and interact because you know it's like you get everything with that. So that would be my top.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

I would say boys, and then I would say toys.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

This is kind of a this question came to me for you when I was just thinking about this, and I didn't even write it down, but it's like I feel like it's coming back. Can we talk about the penis? The penis, yes, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

Which penis?

SPEAKER_02 29:56

Well, I'm just thinking more about in general in general, yeah. Talk about it both in the sense of like in spirit and just in the physical aspect of it. What comes up for you when you think about like when you're going to interact, and this is gonna be inside of me, I'm going to receive this. Like, I already've got stuff.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

You want to just riff?

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Yeah, what what in your divine feminine is like this is how I experience that, this is how I see that at its highest. This is what I believe this is about.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

Yeah, I'm obviously, you know, everybody has their own preference, and it's really interesting because I feel like I've even heard this from men where they're like, you know, we're not attractive down there. Like it's almost like it's it's gross, and I don't, I don't feel that way at all. And then there's even, you know, women or girlfriends that I've known where they're like the male parts are just gross. And I'm like, I think they're super hot. Like I love balls. I've been with men who are circumcised, men who are not. And for me, it's like if I'm sleeping with somebody, if I'm gonna have that level of interaction, like there's an attraction to that person. So actually, growing up, a lot of times my friends would be really surprised by certain people that I would hook up with because they would feel like there was maybe a mismatch in looks, if I'm just being honest. Like they'd be like, What do you see in the sky? And I'm like, it's actually the energy is such a turn on for me. And I remember one time I was at a bar. This was when I was in probably, I think I had to be probably just 21. And there was this, there were beautiful women everywhere, and there was this sports newscaster there. And all these women were trying to talk to him, whatever. And he came over to me and he wanted to take me home. And I was like, no. And he was like, he couldn't wrap his head around being told no. I don't think any woman has ever told him no. Because, you know, he thought he was the shit, he was attractive, but I was so turned off by his energy that like he couldn't have made me wet if he tried. And so that is something for me where it's like it's always been about the energy. This is, and it's not even sexual energy, it's just energy that I feel from someone that that arouses me and turns me on. And so when that's there, you know, I'm turned on by all aspects of that person, the the penis, their balls, whatever. I do prefer a man that leaves hair down there. I do not like the fully shaved, like, I don't need it to be like the Amazon jungle, but I definitely like maybe a tiny trim, but I actually like hair. I know a lot of women are like, what? I'm like, no, I actually prefer it.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Gotcha, go.

SPEAKER_04 32:39

Yeah, yeah. And I love giving head. I will like I usually tell the guy and be like, listen, I'm gonna be honest, like, because if I want to do that, and there's circumstances for that. Like, okay, this might be something people don't know. And Jenny, I asked Jenny this question. I said, Jenny, what have you learned about being here with me for this week? And she goes, You are a like, you're a clean freak. I did not know that about you. And she's not wrong. So, like when I hooked up with this guy one time and we had been dancing and we we met at the bar and we got back to my hotel and we'd been dancing for hours and we're both disgusting and sweaty. I was like, You gotta shower. Like, I can't do anything until you shower. I'm not interested in giving head if it's like a one-night stand or I don't know the person that actually I would rather have sex. Head is intimate. I actually find that to be a really intimate thing, but when I'm connected to the person and I desire to do that, it's actually a massive turn on for me. So I always tell the guy, this is actually more about me. So I need you to just kind of receive and let me do my thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Yeah, you know, I think that's maybe part of why I wanted to ask you that question about the penis. Cause then I mean, I'd heard you say that before, and I thought there's some juiciness in that like part of you and your sexuality that and I didn't know that, but you know, for you, it's like in the more connected relationship, that's when that desire comes for you, and you want that.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

Yeah, I just find like if I'm gonna have like my mouth on a man's penis, like I've never had a desire to do that if I'm just hooking up with someone, like that. I that's so intimate that there has to be like I love it. I love giving head. I know women that are like, please don't, and I'm like, I don't I don't understand that, but yeah, I need there to be a connection for that.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Yeah, cool. Yeah, on a scale of like a hundred percent straight and like a hundred percent gay. What are you like defaults somewhere on that spectrum or are you like boys all the way?

SPEAKER_04 34:41

I am strictly dickly, I'm a hundred percent into men, but I can one hundred percent appreciate the beauty of a woman and in all of her glory, but like I'm not sexually aroused by women.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Gotcha. Yeah, what on Netflix makes you want to chill? Do you even watch? You do you watch TV sometimes?

SPEAKER_04 35:04

I do, yeah. Sometimes I do.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yeah, okay. Are there any shows that like make you feel some kind of way?

SPEAKER_04 35:11

Or you know what did was it Bridgeton? Is that the the show? Okay, I was like, oh my god, yes, to all of this. Yeah, I was surprised by that show and it hooked me.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Gotcha, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I I mean that show had been on for I think two, I guess it was the second season, and I noticed that women around me were talking about it, and they're like, you need to watch this show. And I was like, to me, I'm always curious about what stirs a woman's sexual energy. I'm just I feel like I'm a student of that for the rest of my life. I just think it's so beautiful. And so any artist that finds a way to speak to that, I'm interested in what they're doing.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

I can I can tell you for me, you know, it's really interesting because some of the absolute best sex that I've ever had was with men who were actually like some of the smallest in terms of the size of their penis. And the reason that it was so phenomenal is because they made their desire for me so known that it was so fucking hot. I feel like on the flip side, I've slept with men who were just physically beautiful, but it was like boring and vanilla because there was this sense of the body needing to look a certain way. Or if I would hear a man put down a woman or maybe say something about a woman being fat, it was like any shaming of the body would be like so where does that fall with me? And it's not because I'm not confident, I am like take it or leave it. I love my curves. But a man that's like obsessed with the body and it has that deep desire, mental stimulation is all day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Yeah, I feel like that definitely was kind of in that show to look at was there was just that that chemistry between the characters, so craziest place you've ever had sex.

SPEAKER_04 37:05

I was just thinking about this. Um okay, it's not that crazy in terms of like place, it's just more just like in totality. I was this was also with the cop, the 40-year-old. And I at this time I was probably, I don't know, 21 or 22. We dated for three years. I thought I was gonna marry the guy. Um and we went God, we went to, we drove to Kentucky to my grandma's house. She was having a big party. All my family, my grandma used to be known for throwing massive parties, right? Like she would have to have workers come in and work the party and chefs, so like it was always a big thing. And I can't remember what the occasion was for, but there was a big party going on. My boyfriend at the time came with me, and we went on the lower level, which was a finished basement where everybody was down there and walking by, went into a closet, and the closet doors had like, you know, those god, how do you say it? Like those wooden almost like shingles where it's like if you're in the inside and you look a certain way, you can see it was like that. So we're in the closet, and we're I'm on all fours, and you know, he's them, we're having sex, and there's just people walking by with their drinks and whatever. And I'm thinking, any moment, someone could open this to grab their coat, to put their coat in. But we were always doing stuff like that. And my grandma was like, You guys are not sleeping together. I'm like, well, obviously. And of course, you know, there we are, like fucking in her closet during a party.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

Yeah. That was such a good story. I love it. I'm sure I've got some stories like that too. Maybe in future episodes I'll reveal. But okay, let's see. So, how would you feel about a t-shirt that says I got filthy on the front?

SPEAKER_04 38:59

I love it. I'd rock that. I could see that. Like, I would love it if it was white with black lettering and I could cut it off with a crop top.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Okay, yes. Yeah, to make that happen. Yeah, I'm gonna get I'm gonna make t-shirts for guests. So yeah, not sure when that'll happen, but in the future, I will be.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

I love it. I think it's amazing. I would totally rock that.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Yeah, cool, awesome. Well, thank you for coming on the show and sharing and opening yourself up for all the people out there who I know will be inspired.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

So thank you for having me. I love you. You're amazing.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

I love you. I love you. All right, y'all. Kara Casey, check her out.

Marvin aka Morgan Hale 39:44

Thanks for listening to Filthy Little Secrets. I hope we left you feeling light, free, and inspired to explore your filthy sexual horizons. If you want more, subscribe to get all the filthy future fun. If you're a sex positive woman who'd like to burn another broad of shame, I want to talk to you. Wanna come on the show and tell your story? Go to Morganhale Books.com slash podcast to learn more. That's M-O-R-T-A-N-H-A-L-E books.com slash podcast. Until next time, this is Morgan Hale, encouraging you to keep it real and healthy.