SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real everyday women get real about sex. We're here to shatter stigma and trample taboo one candid conversation at a time. My name's Marvin, but my readers know me as Morgan Hale, filthy romance author. And I'm your host for this heart-to-heart chat about something most of us think about, dream about, and even yearn for. But few of us feel comfortable admitting it, talking about it, or celebrating it. So let's get filthy together.

SPEAKER_04 0:27

Hey everybody. Today we get to talk to a very, I want to say, sexy lady who is kind of a sex hero. She has some amazing experiences in her past and also things that she's gonna do in her future that I think are so exciting. So I'm honored, honestly, that she agreed to come be here today and have this conversation with us. And um welcome, Juliet.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Thank you for having me. I love that you've started this and you started your podcast and you're helping. Just spread the word, right? Get out of our comfort zone and actually recognize that to get into safety, we might have to get out of our comfort zone a little bit and speak about this.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

I saw you posted something about that, uh like I guess maybe yesterday about safety having a lot to do with our ability to drop into pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

I think it's at the the foundation. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

One of the things I love about what you said is you're talking about ascension and that sexuality and exploring sensuality being a part of it. Like for me and my personal journey, you know, I came from I mean, I would say who I was or who I thought of myself as being at like 17, 18 years old was privately it was masturbating all the time and feeling tremendous shame about it. And publicly presenting myself to the world as this like very spiritual person, very religious person, very devout religious person. And you know, I was telling everybody that my life plan was that I was gonna be, you know, celibate and that I was gonna castrate myself. So I thought of spirituality over here, sexuality over here. And so whenever anybody, especially someone in your place of authority, says there's a spiritual path that is our sexuality, you know, that those two things can be harmony. And that to me is like uh I feel like one of the life paths for me is just to kind of bring those two things together, just in my own life. And so I love hearing you say that yeah, that's like that ascension path. And I believe that, you know, but it's like still kind of on the path of embodying that.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

And I love that. I love your your rawness, your realness here, and noticing how religion might be different than spirituality, right? If we if we kind of like pick spirituality and religion apart, then religion has all the doctrines, and it's like you shouldn't do that. And yeah, my kids are Muslim. I was married to a Muslim, and I used to walk around with a t-shirt saying the pussy knows, an orgasm expert. And it was like, ooh, mommy, not quite sure about this. Um, so you know, although they accepted and they love me, still that was part that was difficult for them. And I completely hear where you went into this whole shame shit storm, right? Like we do. We're like, oh my God, touching myself and I shouldn't. But it's like, what are we taught about sexuality? Who teaches us? So it's like, first of all, it's our parents, right? And we soak up like little sponges. Then it's the closest to us. So the rest of the family, the church, teachers, and your community. And if that's all, you know, you get these mixed signals, and then all of a sudden, the internet and you get porn, and you get all these people on Instagram and with their boobs out, and you're like, what are these mixed messages? My body is responding to stuff. I'm getting electric impulses, I'm getting energetic impulses, and I'm not sure what's right and what's wrong anymore. And that's when we can get into this whole shame spiral. I mean, and how many of us have put our hand on our pussy or you and your cock and just as a baby, because it's really comforting. And I have my four kids, and I remember my second boy used to always walk around butt naked. And he'd like, and at one point, yeah, he got a heart on when he's like, I don't know, three or four. He's like, Oh, mommy, Willie, I'm doing a willy massage, come and watch my willy just the beauty and the innocence of that. Yeah, and then one of my twins always had her hand on our pussy and then you know, sucked on her thumb, and that would put her to sleep. But how many parents say, Oh, don't do that? And well, it's actually just holding yourself, yeah, it's part of what this body is made for.

SPEAKER_04 5:08

Love it. I love it, I love that you were able to give your kids that just safe space to let those things blossom, and you know, that they just got to experience a safe container for that. That's really cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Well, I think here in Europe it's a little bit easier as well because you let them just walk around naked. Like, you know, my girls didn't have like bikini tops until they're probably eight or nine or ten when they really wanted it. Because most people here on the beach just don't have it. I think when they went to the States for the first time, they're like, Oh mommy, everyone's wearing bikini tops, but no one has boobs. Why are they wearing bikini tops so early? I'm like, that's the way it is there. So it's it's just a little bit more scene.

SPEAKER_04 5:50

Yeah, that's interesting. I wondered about that. I was actually gonna ask you, what is it like for you living in the UK, you know, as a sex positive woman, but it sounds like it is more liberated there than in the U.S.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Oh, it's it's definitely a bit more liberated. I mean, and I'm Dutch, right? So we Dutch are even more liberated too. We've got red light district, and that's all ego in Holland. So um, yeah, it's just interesting. I think if we think back here in Europe, in France, everyone is topless at the at the beaches. So you kind of grow up going to these places, seeing it, and not thinking much about it. There are new just beaches everywhere, and you just kind of like sometimes wander into one, it's not a big deal. It's like, oh, okay, didn't recognize, didn't realize. And then, yeah, if it feels uncomfortable, you walk out again. But yeah, I know I remember going on holiday with my girls, and there must have been eight or nine. And we were staying in a hotel, and right next to us was the nudist beach. So we went swimming, and I didn't realize, so we swam for a while. I'm like, oh, let's get out here. And it's like they're like, Mommy, did you see that old man? He's naked. It's like, oh mommy, that woman's naked too. Because they've seen like the topless thing before, but she's 100% naked. I'm like, Yeah, they're like, Oh wow, it's kind of cool. They just yeah, they have no shame about their bodies. I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, one of the things I think about, like on the topic of the spirituality and the sexuality, is like the divine sees our nakedness all the time and isn't offended and isn't scandalized and isn't, you know, I mean, knows every thought, every sexual impulse that we have, and it's part of the design. And you know, if the hangups are there, it's ours. You know, it's a 3D human sort of experience to to have any judgment.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

To overcome that, also, right? And maybe not to overcome it, you know. Listen, I look in the mirror and I'm still like, oh, okay. Yeah, but then there's also so much gratitude for this body, how much pleasure and how much pain and how many children it's born. But you know, a lot of people were so conditioned about sexuality, about what we should look like, about what a perfect body should like, about what you should wear. Like, you know, I'm 56 now, and I'm like, oh shit, maybe I shouldn't be wearing clothes, like you know, exposed a little bit. And I'm like, I'll just wear whatever I feel like wearing.

SPEAKER_04 8:18

Come on, let's do it. I love it. This is one of the things I love about Kyra is that you know, she just creates permission for other people by choosing herself and her authentic expression. And I absolutely believe that you choosing that for yourself, it helps others around you to be like, I'm gonna do that shit too. You know, I'm just gonna love me completely.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:44

So I don't I don't think I knew that you grew up, Dutch. So it seems like just from the way that you said it, that it's a really liberated environment there. Like for you growing up, like when did you start to see the early blossom of this liberated sexual woman that you are today?

SPEAKER_00 8:59

So I lived in Holland until I was 12, and then I moved to Texas with my family for about 18 months.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

I did not know though.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yes. Wow, whatever. I went to Texas when I was like, itty bitty, tiny bitty, and I didn't speak any English either. So I was like, I mean, at that point, my boobs just really grew in one summer. I remember that we packed up our belongings, our house, and everything was in a container. My mom had just bought me this tiny little bra, and somehow it got back to the container, and she was like really busy in Texas when we moved there. We didn't have the house yet, so we're staying in some kind of motel next to the highway, and it just it was really stressful for her. And my boobs just kept on growing, and you know, like in Holland, people don't always wear bras. Well, you know, at 12 in the states, pretty much everyone wears a bra.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

So I remember like getting invited to some people and and going to this 4-8 camp, and I didn't have a bra, and I felt really embarrassed about it. I kept on, like, you know, we'd go to was it Kroger, I think it was, supermarket in in Orange, Texas. And I'd go and get a little bra. And she's like, What is that for? I'm like, mom, and then it hit. She's like, Oh, and I just didn't know how to speak about it. Yeah, as a 12-year-old, you're embarrassed, you don't want to, yeah. So, and she's like, Oh my god, your boo oh, you do have boobs. I'm like, Yes, mom, we live in the States now. We're in Texas, we're in the South, people wear bras, you know. And she's like, Okay, I get it. So that kind of started, and I think I've always been interested in smells and how things felt on my skin. So I've always been into that sensuality part, right? I recognize that I had a lot of energetic sensations as well. Yeah, I'd I'd read the energy coming into a room if people were angry and I was like, whoa, okay, I gotta get out of here. Or like I would do something, I would give something to someone, and the whole energy in the room would change, they'd be all happy. So I knew about this as a child. I also knew that eating a peach or an apricot, actually peach, and just the juices have those flow down my throat. I was like, oh, and I think even earlier before going to Texas, probably when I was around eight or nine, I played around with the bath and the shower. And I recognized, oh my god, these sensations are pretty insane.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

I did that too. I mean, I went to shower head, you know, the whole thing. It's funny because I think I had this thing for a period of time where I didn't feel like I had shame around touching myself, but it was like if I sort of surrendered to the water and the water did it. Oh, I know that. Or maybe less shameful if it just, you know, and so I remember like sort of sitting in the bath in the shower, like just spraying down and like me laying there naked spread open. But yeah, that and just being in that sensation and still when I got it.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

That's it, right?

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Yeah, but if I mean if I take it back much earlier, is actually when my brother first started sexually touching me. Which I mean, you're six, seven, five, six, seven. You have no idea if that's right or wrong, right? So you just kind of go with it. So it wasn't, yeah, I didn't really get the message what was right and what was wrong for the longest time. So I got a bit mixed, mixed wires there. Yeah. And then I guess I I got more into centrality when I got back to Holland when I was 13, got very interested in being just being more open about it. This is also the same time that my uncle also sexually, you know, made a lot of moves on me. And I remember just at one point getting really, really pissed off at him. And I told my mom about him. He's just like a sick, ah, he's just a sick pervert. And she's like, Oh, yeah, that's what uncles do. I'm like, what do you mean that's what uncles do? So here again, I got like, okay, so first it was my brother, and and you know, and that went on for years, then it was my uncle. And you just kind of get the feelings like it's not safe to be as my bubbly sexual, but you know, just normal self that has all this energy, which is obviously also sexual, right? Because it's that orgasm, it's that chi that works through us, and that's what they got attracted to. So for me, that started by I started putting on weight. I would like hunch my shoulders because I just didn't want to be seen so much. But at the same time, I like sex. So that was kind of like the oh, what do I do? Do I become promiscuous? You know, and I think I I was, you know, I did have quite a few boyfriends and had sex at quite early at I don't know, 14, 15, something like that. So yeah, but it was kind of like, is this with someone that I love? Is this what I want to do? Versus, oh, I'm being pushed into it.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Right. Yeah. I'm getting emotional as you're sharing this because there's an organization here in Tennessee that I just absolutely love. It's called the Sexual Assault Center. And one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about it is because it's connected to how strongly I feel about wanting to see divine feminine liberated sexually. And I just think, I mean, the story that you just told for me is the reason why supporting them is so important to me is that it's like, what does a world look like where it's safe for a woman to be sexual? You know, where she can be in that energy, she can be free in it, she can express it, and it does not mean that her boundaries are violated, that she becomes a victim of assault, and you know, that there's a safe container for that. Every time I've been to that center, I just lose it and cry the entire time because there's so much that's palpable in the energy in the air, just the power to heal there. I mean, I just really want to see that. And like to me, anybody that has been through what you've been through and stands in such tremendous authority and liberation now is such a powerful story.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

You know what? We can look at it, it's like, oh, this happened to me. I mean, this my brother, my uncle, that was nothing, right? I had I got date raped when I was 18 by five guys, and they beat the shit out of me. And yeah, that was not so much fun. And my psyche also couldn't handle it, so I kind of like just buried it somewhere in here. And it was only until I actually started feeling safe, and I was doing a lot of personal development, a lot of psychology myself, that all of a sudden I got flogged on my shoulders by someone, and all of a sudden my body started to shake, and I I recognized what was happening. So I just said, please can you continue? Can you continue flogging both of me, the two people that were giving the workshop? And my body started shaking, and I started crying and not flying and laughing, and that's it, right? Energy releasing, everything, like laughter from everything. And all of a sudden I remembered. And this was when I was 18. My girlfriend and I had been dating these guys and went to a party with them. And we'd both been mating them for about, I don't know, five, six weeks. So it was, you know, yes, we'd had sex with them, or I'd had sex, she'd have sex as well. Um, you know, one thing led to another at one point. We were both in different rooms, both held down and five, and you know, ten guys just came in, beat the shit out of us, and we escaped and we left, and we somehow hitchpike back. We never spoke about it again. The next day we talked about it together. We didn't get to the police. We felt so much shame that it was our fault that somehow we'd got involved with guys that were so untrustworthy. I never heard from her again after she went back to the States and I went back to Holland. But that's what happens, then this gets trapped in our body, right? So disease starts to happen. It affected my marriage, it affected everything, but I wasn't conscious of it. And this is why I keep saying it's like safety is such a big aspect of pleasure, of sensuality, of bringing this forth in the world because this body is our vessels, are incredible. We create life through this, right? But and at the same time, being able to speak about it now, I see how much of a gift all of this has been. Because I wouldn't have been able to speak about this, I wouldn't have been able to teach others to help others feel safe in themselves again, in their relationship, like peel back the onion layers to actually notice what's going on. Why are you on your seventh relationship? And it's still not going well. You're doing great in all the businesses, everything else, but you know, your wife number six. It's like it's because of the safety aspect, right? For the center and all the sexual abuse centers that actually teach women and men, because there are a lot of abused men as well, to take back what is theirs and to actually see what a gift it is and how they can recreate their life in a completely different way, redesign it in a way that actually has them feel safe. I just find it super empowering. And and this is what I want to do in the Middle East as well, really help with charities there and just recognize that because there, of course, when you've been raped, you get ousted by the family as well, right? Because you brought on shame to the family. So all of this is like, let's actually start talking about this and let's teach you ways to move through that trauma so that it doesn't affect you. Yes, it happened, but it's the emotional bit that's holding you back still.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

I love that you brought this up about the Middle East, because I I love that you want to do that. I mean, to me, that's just so like you're such a badass. So what put like seeded that in your heart, just your own personal experience with because you I think you said is it your children that were Muslim?

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah, my ex-husband's Lebanese Palestinian. So at the moment we're getting double whammy with what's happening in the world. You know, Lebanese being being bombed, and of course, you know, his ancestral lands in Palestine as well. So to stay with an open heart while all this is happening, and actually the lots of sexual abuse that we're seeing on everywhere there, it's horrifying. Yeah, so it's always been really close to my heart. The moment that he and I are still very close. So, you know, we spend Christmas together, summer holidays together, we brought up our kids together. It's been, gosh, more than 10 years now that we've been divorced. But it's also such a beautiful relationship that I have with the whole Arab population. And one of the therapists that I follow, she lives in Dubai and is Pakistani, married to an Arab from Yemen. So her daughter is an Arab, right? So she made this beautiful speech and also said it's like, I'm not Arab, I'm not Muslim, but my daughter is Arab. So that means I am Arab. And I just really recognize that I identified with that as well. I've got four children, they're okay, half Arab, but you know, they then still consider themselves Arab. And it means that I'm at my heart also a little bit. Yes, yes. And I just, yeah, and that part just really resonates with me, also, where where I see women there that, you know, and of course Lebanon is Christian and Muslim, and so you have everything, but I just see women that suffer with that, suffer with coming out as themselves. Some are very promiscuous, yeah. Some are not at all. And then there's that shape. It's still so hidden, and it's still so much what culture and what society thinks of us. So, especially places like that, there are not that many centers open yet. So I just want to put my attention there and help out a bit.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

Yes. Yay. Oh, I can't wait to just see how whatever that unfolds us. I think that's just so awesome. Can I ask you just a few questions about just your sexuality personally? Of course. Okay. So you made some mention about with your senses. You said smell and touch. So I I'm kind of just curious, like when you think about your five senses, how do you experience your sexuality through each of those?

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Interesting. So I don't know if you've ever you've you've heard about the love languages, right?

SPEAKER_04 22:06

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Yeah. All right. So I believe you give and probably give and receive in probably different languages. But we're fluent in all of them, but we just have a preference for one, how to receive one and how to give one. So we can actually learn how to be open to all of them. Just like the love languages, there are the ways into pleasure. So this is what's called the erotic blueprints. I don't know if you've ever heard about them. I've heard you mention it before, yeah. All right. So there's like the energetic. So the energetic person is, they can have like orgasms just looking at someone. They're very much with touch off the body, like here is oftentimes five, right? Or really slow and and just gentle things. Um, they get out of their sex, out of their pleasure very quickly because they kind of leave their body. So then the central, using all the five senses, like you know, smells. I just put on some cream. I'm like, hmm, smelling myself like beautiful textures. You'll see the centrals because they're kind of like walking away, they touch themselves. Ah, they can eat a fig and just like go into spontaneous orgasm. And the pride of the senses is also really hot, right? Maybe you want to put on a little silk mask or or tie a scarf or a tie around someone's eyes. Like, oh, yeah, we're getting more into kinky, but using all those senses, like with my VIP couple that on the show on the ITV, on the TV show, I was feeding her a raspberry, and I put it really, I let her close her eyes so she wouldn't see. And then it heightens the smell, right? So I can smell it. And then the touch was like the raspberry around her mouth, then stick out to your tongue, and then she tried to actually experience what it's like. I said, okay, so it would make your tongue thinner so I can stick it right on top of the. I don't know if you can write raspberries and put it on your fingertips, but I tried to do that with her with her tongue. And then it's like really slowly now allow yourself to take your tongue in and to taste it and then to feel it go down. You see, so this is how I use senses. And but also the sensual person can also really get out of their pleasure. Like if they're thinking, oh my god, there's dirty socks around, I didn't shave down there. What did I feed the kids for? What do I need to feed them for dinner? So all of these things are what takes us in pleasure and what can take us out. And there's a kinky, and kinky is anything that's kind of taboo. So that could be just getting out undressed in front of someone else, or it could be tying and flogging and then denigration. I mean, BDSM is is a massive, massive subject. And there's the shadow side, is a lot of shame. How do I tell him that I like to be pulled by my hair? Or how do I tell him that? You know, whatever, I want to dress up, or it really I I love this. So there's often a lot of shame between partners. Then there's the sexual that we think is like normal, what we see on porn. It's like, you know, genitals, pussy, cock, boobs, yeah, they like things, they like the climax. And again, there's you know, oftentimes turn a bit turn off and shame. It's like, hey, I need to have my climax. I need to make sure that at the end of the touching and the feeling and the sweep, we're gonna have penetration because if not, you know, I'm not getting satisfied, not going into their pleasure. And then there's the shapeshifter that's a little bit of all loves all of it, but often are the ones that are very often with partners that maybe only sexual or only sensual, so that they only play in one arena and they're like, Where's that smorgasport? Um I'm hungry, I want I want a bit of it all, and that's what I fall under. And my partner, he's also he's also a shapeshifter, and we both have kink quite quite sensual and kink. I have energetic and and kink, and he's got sensual and kink quite high in our in our stack because we have all of it, right? So it's an interesting play, but once you then start recognizing, it's like, oh my god, I can learn his way into pleasure and their way, we just weren't speaking the same language. And that's it, that's all it and and that's the most beautiful thing. When you've had people that haven't had sex in like 18 years and come to saying, uh, I just can't have sex. And it's like, let's figure out where not the techniques, because it's never about the techniques, but let's just script it all back, go all the way back, and start bringing, you know, take sex off the table completely, bring some communication in, bring in all the things that you love about each other, that you used to love about each other, because you can't be in gratitude and in anger at the same time, right? Our brain doesn't quite end. We start linking that, that, that putting in some new neuropathways. It's like, and then let's explore what you think you are. Are you essential? And then I get them to do a quiz, and yeah, I I call it my scrumptiousness quiz, and then I get them to do actually a game with touching, especially on either on Zoom, I get them to touch each other or in-person my VIP days. And that's when the body never lies. That's why you might think you don't like kinky, but all of a sudden you like scratching in your hair, you your goose, you've got goosebumps, and your hair and your chest or your neck all of a sudden stands up. It's like, oh, on a scale of one to ten, how pleasurable is that? And they'll be like, oh nine. I'm like, yes. Like, okay, and how much shame is coming up? She's like, ten! I'm like, okay, I got it. Because that's it, right? The body doesn't lie. And once you can actually teach people to look at those show till time uh signs, it's like look, look at where the breath is catching, look at her slightly moving her her feet, it's like oh, arching of the of the toes, just look at that, and then don't assume what it is, but ask. Because we all assume, right? We assume it's like when Alex can't comes behind me. I remember when he first came behind me and he kissed me on my neck. I mean, I usually love being kissed on my neck, but at that moment, I just got transferred straight back to when my uncle used to do that, and I completely froze and he noticed. He thought he was doing something wrong. And I noticed him noticing. So I'm like, hey, hold on, let me. I'm being transported back. So I had the peace of mind to actually tell him. It's like, no, no, stay there, stay there. I just need to recognize that I'm safe. Stay there, stay there. Can you just not touch me? But stay there, stay this close. And he just recognized my body was was shaking a little bit. I was grounding. I'm like, okay, just just make sure that you ground yourself as well so that I can actually feel the grounding and that I'm not I'm not eight when this happened. Man, you could talk me through this. I'm like, yeah. And that's the work, right? That's the stuff like once we can do that, then it just makes everyone's life so much easier. It's like, hey, I'm having a moment, I'm having a flashback to something that happened, which doesn't define me anymore, but now I'm also moving through it. And thank you. You've just made sure that I now feel safe with you behind me.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

I love that. I love that. Thank you for telling that story because to me that's just such a beautiful like demonstration of like what it actually looks like to work through something like that in real time. So I'm curious because you're talking about being an energetic as part of your shape-shifting, you know, makeup. When you first learned that concept and you were just like thinking about yourself and your experiences, was there any experience that stood out in your past that you're like, oh, I'm definitely an energetic because I remember this experience where I'm an energetic experience that really lit me up.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Was there anything I definitely remember, and also like sex with Alex from time to time will like have a really beautiful energetic touch and like orgasms like with the universe, it's like having sex. It's actually that moment. It's like, oh my god, this is not for me anymore. This is not for my body, but this is I'm having sex for the whole world, and I'm thinking for the whole world, and I'm crying and I'm laughing, and and that's it, and I've become the world, and I've become the universe, and that's it. You know, you just transcend what it is to have this body, and that I think anyone can do, but the energetic has a capacity a little bit easier to do that uh because we just access it a little bit, but anyone that can read energy that can actually just allow yourself to go with the breath, you know. We we're all Dr. Joe, breath the breath people, so you know, we're all meditators, and and we know how to do that breath and how to get to those ecstatic states, and that's the beauty where sex can take you into that, vlogging can take you into that, breath can take you into that. I mean, tantra is part of that, right? The whole Kundalini awakening is how do we move that energy up and down our spine to transcend and also to then create in this world.

SPEAKER_04 31:53

I love that so much. And I actually haven't, um I mean, I don't think I have. I'm pretty sure I would know if I'd had that experience yet. But that's something that, you know, I mean, I'm continuing to believe that that's gonna happen for me when it's supposed to happen for me, and I'm due the breath all the time. And that for me, like the experience that you're talking about of like feeling that like conscious oneness with everything and everywhere and every time in the midst of sex is something that I feel like I've touched that experience, and I've you know, on a theoretical level, I uh believe in it and I'm hoping to, you know, experience more and more of that in my life. So it's um it's lovely to hear you talk about it as like uh, oh yeah, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

It's a thing. But the beauty is also you just you just don't need to get there, right? And it's um I used to do this and I still do this practice called orgasmic meditation, which is 15 minutes touching the person with the finger touches the clitoris, strokes the clitoris in a really slow, soft movement, like movement. And the only aim is to connect. So this is the the the bit where you then actually learn that we both are having the same experience. Although it's touching a sexual organ, we're not having sex, but there is a moment that, and at one point I'll say, Okay, there's a moment that I felt like a really cold, icy feeling and around my heart. It was nowhere near my clip, right? And then he'd be like, Oh, I know that moment that you are talking about because I felt real compression around my heart, and that's the beauty of orgasm meditation. But I remember, like with Alex when we do it, I remember I started squirting, I started ejaculating. And I think when we talk about squirting, people are like, Oh, it's this big ass, you know, like squirting all the way around the room. It's like, yeah, not for me. But you know, and then as a woman, you're like, is that pee? Oh my god, there's stuff coming out. Oh Jesus, what do I do? Now I gotta shut it down, stop it!

SPEAKER_01 33:58

What is it?

SPEAKER_00 33:59

So you're like, whoa, really embarrassed. And I'm sure this is for you guys when you ejaculate it when you were a work small kid. You're like, whoa, what is this? Right, yeah, and everything. And I was like, That often to get to that point is where there's so much trust, where there's so much safety. It's like, okay, I recognize that there might be stuff coming out of me, which I have no control over, and I'm just gonna trust that it's okay. And if it's too much for you, you step away, you let me know.

SPEAKER_04 34:33

That's beautiful. I love how our bodies are like it's like an opportunity for us to just let go of control. Because, like, you know, for instance, demon coming out of me, it's like, well, there's a smell, and oh, it's sticky, and oh god, what if somebody finds this, you know? And it's like I have an opportunity at that moment to and I mean like I come up against shame where I embrace it and choose it and see it as like, no, this is you know, I mean, every part of this was a divine idea that I am embodying now. And that is something that for me I've come a tremendously long way because I don't really now feel maybe little twinges of shame still, but like nothing compared to how I was when I was younger. It was so intense, you know, and it was so practiced. It was like meditative the shame, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

That's a big deal, huh? I mean, that's a big deal. I mean, I I love that now you can recognize it, and it's almost like, oh hi, Shame.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Hello, friends.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Like I know you're there, and you know, cool. Thank you for raising your head.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

Right, exactly. Yeah, we're not gonna like we're not gonna soak in that anymore. Well, oh my gosh, I could talk to you all day, really. So many questions that I would ask you. I think I'm gonna wrap this up for now. And you know, maybe in the future.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Maybe in the future I'll come up with a flagger. Who knows?

SPEAKER_04 36:03

Oh my god, yes, absolutely. I'd love to have part two. Because you're so much fun to talk to about this. I'm so grateful for just who you are, and I mean, just even talking to you, just feel it is very safe, you know, to just talk about these things. So Juliet, everybody, how about it? Thank you so much for coming on the show.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

I love it, and of course, any of your listeners want to listen to my podcast as well. Yes, there's lots of episodes on BDSM, on shame, on all that kind of stuff. If you just want to get like a little bit more of a peek, I also have some experts on that are in the relationship realm. So always come and have a look. Thank you so much for having me on. This was fun. I love that we both create a safe space for women and men to just come out. Yeah, pleasure.

Marvin aka Morgan Hale 36:57

Yes. Yes. Thanks for listening to Filthy Little Secrets. I hope we left you feeling light, free, and inspired to explore your filthy sexual horizons. If you want more, subscribe to get all the filthy feature funds. If you're a sex positive woman who'd like to burn another bra of chain, I want to talk to you. Want to come on the show and tell your story? Go to Morganhale Books.com slash podcast to learn more. That's M-O-R-T-A-N-H-A-L-Pooks.com slash podcast. Until next time, this is Morgan Hale, encouraging you to keep it real and filthy.