SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real everyday women get real about sex. We're here to shatter stigma and trample taboo one candid conversation at a time. My name's Marvin, but my readers know me as Morgan Hale, filthy romance author. And I'm your host for this heart-to-heart chat about something most of us think about, dream about, and even yearn for. But few of us feel comfortable admitting it, talking about it, or celebrating it. So let's get filthy together. Hey everybody. Welcome to another episode of Filthy Little Secrets. I today get to share with you someone who I met just last year. It was the coolest thing. We both were going to a retreat and an amazing retreat. And she's a Canadian. She was flying into the Tennessee area, which the retreat was in. And I got the amazing privilege to get to carpal with her and one other gentleman to the retreat. And we got to hang out, I guess it was like three and a half hours, maybe, and we stopped to eat. And it was awesome. It was the coolest time with them, getting to know them. And then of course we had this amazing experience on the retreat. And now we're just friends. Her name is Amazing Amy. And she is amazing. Um, we had an amazing experience at the retreat, did some incredible things there. And I'm excited, was up for coming today and talking about sexuality on a personal level and this filthy little secrets, little container. So thank you so much for being open to coming and having that conversation.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. I kind of want to like keep the recording of you saying amazing Amy because you just gave it so much spirit. I loved it.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

I like lit up like a little kid in the candy store when you said you are amazing. You are super amazing.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

Yeah, that retreat was amazing and it was amazing meeting you. And I think it's awesome when you know the universe just brings people together for a reason. We really had no idea the reason we were brought together. Maybe we'll touch on that. Who knows what's going to come out of my mouth?

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Yeah. It actually probably would be, at least for me, it would be a completely fitting. Are you okay with just like cracking that one open about what happened?

SPEAKER_04 2:27

That's where you want to start. It'll be interesting because we shared an experience and we both have a different perspective on it. And I think that shows, I think it's just good. It's good to show how two people can be united for a greater purpose and how we experience that personally was different for both of us.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Yes. Yes. Well, okay. You want to start on your side or do you want to tell you about my side?

SPEAKER_04 2:55

I would love to do the intro from my perspective. Yeah. Well, just do the very quick intro because there's so many things that I don't even remember that you said to me. So this was the morning of us waking up on day one at the retreat. And I was with my other friend that was there with me. And Marvin came over to us and was very almost urgent. Like, I need to speak to both of you right now. Is that okay? And I won't quote everything that you said. I'm just sharing what happened. So we went outside, and there's this beautiful wraparound balcony that overlooks the Smoky Mountains. I mean, this is straight out of a movie type of scene. I always call them Divine Meat Cutes because I really feel like the divine brings two people together to have this cool experience. And what I remember so profoundly is how I felt, not necessarily what you were saying. Because the moment you said that and we went outside and we were standing at first, I could instantly feel that something big was about to happen. And I think I might even have said something around that, like out loud. And you began talking, and it wasn't even a few words that came out of your mouth. And I immediately felt this pain in my heart, and I started bawling my eyes out. And you take it from there because I want you to go back to the night before and what you were saying to me, and then maybe if it just organically I'll intervene and like put some things in there.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Yeah. Well, I mean, I remember that moment too because I felt it also. I mean, I because I got down on my knees in front of you. And like as soon as I did that, I just felt this intense for me. It was this intense comforting vibe. It just felt like the divine was there, you know, present in what was happening. And and I had this kind of excited feeling that was just an anticipation of, I don't know what's about to happen, but I can sense that it is powerful. And so that was encouragement that I needed because for me, I was meeting an edge. And the retreat that we went to was called the Edge. And it's really funny how the name of the retreat became like at least for me, I met my edge over and over and over again while at that retreat. But this experience with you was one of really probably one of the first really big ones that happened for me at the retreat. Yeah. And I mean, just a tiny bit of backstory that some of the listeners will will be familiar with because I have talked about this a little bit before, but I mean I have a long history of um unraveling sexual shame in my own life. And when I was a teenager, my life plan was I was gonna be a celibate Catholic priest. And the reason was that it was shame, but it was a very specific type of shame, and it was around this idea that men were sexual and women weren't, and that the relationship between men and women sexually is a purely predatory relationship in which women lose and men are trying to take something from them. I wanted no part of that, and so I hated my sexual energy. However, I felt it, however, I felt attraction to women, you know, I just wanted as much as possible to, you know, physically, emotionally, psychologically, every way possible to extricate that from my life because I was like, I don't want to be a part of that game. If that's what it is, I don't want it. And so, but I was a very and still am a very sexual person. And so, you know, it was a long journey of like making peace with my sexuality and kind of unraveling a you're a creep story because I always had this like judgment of myself that if I felt sexual thoughts and feelings about a woman, that it was just inherently creepy. But you know, I mean, I also have this real desire for healing. So, like, the most amazing thing would be that if somehow my sexual energy could be healing for someone. And I have experienced that, you know, many times in my life, and it's all and that has been part of my healing is to actually experience that and to see that this is actually can be really beautiful and perfect. And the night before all this went down with you and I and our friend Jody, the divine had me up all night. I could not sleep, I was stirred, I had a lot of sexual energy, and I had a lot of you know, kind of coming up against those stories about shame. And you came up and I felt this like thing of I don't even know. I guess I did know, yeah, I had to have known that there was something about your legs.

SPEAKER_04 7:44

I think you had shared that with us maybe in the yeah, on the on the trip there, because we were talking about our Dr.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Joe Dispenza experiences. The way I remember it is that what I was feeling, it felt sexual, but it felt divine. And it felt like a divine curiosity about your legs and that part of sexuality that is just a desire to know someone else, physically, emotionally, intellectually, all those things that like I want to see you, I want you to see me, I want to move past the veils that we put up and enter into intimacy. And so there was this like desire to just express affection for your legs, and so I woke up the next morning and I was, you know, I was like, oh my god, no, please don't make me do this because she is for sure gonna think I'm a creep. If I I don't even know how to propose this idea, I wasn't even sure how it would come out, but I it was like beyond words, I could feel the essence of it, which felt it felt sexual, it felt loving, it felt divine, it felt really safe and really healing. And I understood it, but I was so scared that like I wouldn't find a way to present it. Like I just the story that I had was any woman is gonna be like, whoa, dude, back off with that.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

So anyway, it was an edge for me because I was like gonna have to trust this intuition that I was having and step out in it and turn the volume down on the story that I had in order to go through with it. So part of the urgency that that you felt, I'm certain from me was this like me fighting against myself because I was like, if I don't do this now, I'm not gonna do it, you know. So I was like, go Marvin, don't think about it. Just yeah. So I love it.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

I love that you went into way more detail about about the energy and the essence behind it because you're right on point with all of those. And I do remember you said one thing while I was standing, and that's when I felt the pain in my heart, and I just started crying, and then we moved to sitting, and then you were kneeling in front of me. I heard you, but I felt you more. And I think that's what's really cool about a divine experience like this is I don't need to remember exactly what you said because I remember how I felt. And it hurt at first, but it was I was so curious about it at the same time. I was like, all of the shame that I've held around my legs was living within my heart. And it was very sexual for me. I I don't really want to go a whole bunch into my past, but I did come from sexual trauma when I was very little. And that's where it started. And also a program that was passed down through my family lineage around the women's legs. So it was mixed in with those two factors. And to know that I had a very short conversation with you in the car about what I saw in a meditation at Dr. Joe's event. And then the divine loved me and you so much that it would keep you up all night and not let you sleep. Sorry, not sorry. Um, and have you proposed this amazing, beautiful gift of me getting to heal, not just heal, but completely liberate the energy and the shame around my legs that they weren't worthy of being loved by a man. And what I want your listeners to know is this is a manifestation because I had this burning desire for such a long time for any man that I dated, and even my ex-husband, to just do for my legs what I couldn't do for them. Like I've healed in so many ways, but on a deep core level, like I still held so much shame and I've been in so many different bodies. I've been in fit bodies, I've been in overweight bodies and everybody in between. And I still carried the weight of the shame and the story around my legs. So that's what was coming out of me through my tears and this pain I felt in my heart when you proposed this beautiful leg day to me. Like you wanted to energetically give me this gift of making love to my legs. And it was like my soul knew exactly what this experience was gonna be. Like I couldn't deny it. There was no way that I could not receive this. And I don't know how long I was there for and I cried, and you ended up going away and like coming back at one point. I even tried talking to um Jodi, who was there, and I had such a hard time because I was just in overflow of emotion. My nervous system was for sure melting and downregulating and releasing like years of trauma. And I know when you left, I actually shared also that it might have been, I'm not sure exact timeline, but it might have been like a year or something prior. I was in my bed at night and I couldn't sleep. And my light on my ceiling looked like a sunflower, and sunflowers always remind myself of my grandma who's passed away. And I sat up and I just closed my eyes and I just started listening while looking. Well, I wasn't really looking anymore, but I held the image of like the sunflower in my mind's eye. And I all of a sudden was like transported into this imagery of being in bed with this man who was speaking so much love and life into my legs with his words and with his touch. Like he touched everything that I would normally touch looking in a mirror, but from a place of like disgust and hatred and shame. And he was doing the exact opposite. And I remember it feeling so incredibly real that when I sort of came out of that imagery, I said out loud, I'm like, there's no way. Like this whole term that we coin that you have to love yourself before anybody can love you. I audibly heard a voice say, absolutely, you are worthy of this. And so I had a moment of remembering that when you walked out. And I said to Jody, I said, even though Marvin's not my lover, you know what I mean? I had I had the same familiar feeling of what I was shown in that imagery of this is what my experience was and was going to continue being. And so one thing I want to say about you, Marvin, is you presented it so compassionately, so tenderly, so openly. There, even at the very end, you said, if you're willing to receive this, Amy, on the way home from the retreat, I want to take you shopping and I want you to pick out, you know, the shorts or the skirt or whatever it is to celebrate your legs. And I didn't even hesitate. I remember I was like, yes. Because I knew that if I didn't, right? That well, I mean, the healing started taking place then, but I knew if I didn't fall through that the integration and everything else that was supposed to happen was not gonna come from this experience.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

So yeah, I mean, being in the store, it felt electric, you know, like it just felt like we were surrounded by palpable power in the air when we were there. I mean, I got down on my knees again and you were standing. I mean, for the listeners to you know, have some idea of what happened. I mean, I was just like kind of running my hands up and down energetically, her legs, and I actually did touch you. I don't know if you remember that. And afterwards I thought, ooh, we didn't really talk about that part. I just felt this incredible love for your legs, and like I had entered into a sacred space, you know, like it was really a privilege and a gift to experience that with you and to witness you and to witness your legs, and then to see, you know, you come out and the garment that you had picked out. It was looked amazing on you, and you looked amazing in it, but you just were so lit up, and it was like it was such a triumph that you know, kind of I don't know, it was it was incredible. And then watching you walk out of the store and and we were in Chattanooga and was was it Chattanooga or Knoxville in Oxville? Yeah, it was just magic. It was absolute magic. I'm so grateful that you were open because it was it was healing for me to experience the divine move through that part of myself that I've been like layer after layer I've been feeling back shame. And doing this podcast is just another layer. It's me working through it and knowing and experiencing, you know, both from people that have been gracious enough to come on here and and have this conversation, and also people who are listening to it who are giving me feedback that it's you know, shame around our sexuality is a common malady that a lot of people experience in one way or another.

SPEAKER_04 17:24

It was pure magic. And I I won't say too much more. I actually shared this too on my own podcast as like a Dr. Joe Dispenza testimonial because that's where the image flashed in my mind in the meditation of me saying I wear all the shorts and all the dresses now. And then, like, literally, it was less than three weeks later that I had this experience with you. By the time I got to the store and I was trying on all the outfits, at first I was like a little nervous, but I was so surprised actually how fast that part, like just that energy moved. And then I was in this like celebratory, confident, like, whoa, what is this? And I really want to share too, so that your listeners know how generous of a human being you are. First of all, the generosity of even like following through and listening to the divine, but the time and the attention and the joy that you had watching me try on, because I kept the same skorts. I guess they were like skirt shorts, sort of, with different tops and a couple different hats, and just dancing around, posing my thing. And then you offered to buy me what I loved. But you were also the anchor to saying, Hey, Amy, wait a second, you need to wear this outfit out of here.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

So that was another edge. I was like, okay, I'm gonna embody this now, not later. I'm so glad I did that. Like, if I hadn't done that, I don't know where I would be today. And I kind of felt like Julia Roberts with this shopping thing. And I even asked Marvin, I'm like, you have to get this on video.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:08

Yeah, and I think the biggest thing too, Marvin, was coming home. I was like, if I don't continue this, coming back to my own familiar environment, like I have to continue this. Like it was a non-negotiable, and I'm like, fuck yeah, I will be hurt because I am hurt. And I left I left that old version of me in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

I'm remembering too. I wanted to ask you about this. I think it was not too long after a retreat, and you posted a video and you were dancing, and I think it was like a chair that you were dancing with.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

That was a hot video. I mean, you you brought such an incredible. I mean, first of all, you're an incredible dancer. I had no idea. When I saw that video, I was like, dang, girl, got the I mean, just very graceful. I mean, it was very sexy what you were doing. And I know you had said at the retreat that, and I think we talked about this in the card, that you know, at some point in your journey, you had been following Carmen Elector's like strip tease stuff, and that that had been a tool for you. Yeah. Can you talk about it?

SPEAKER_04 20:16

Yes, I'd love to share that. I've always loved to dance. I was in tap and jazz as a kid, and actually part of what I guess that I held on to was two days before a recital, I was pulled out because my parents couldn't afford it anymore. No hard feelings towards them. I mean, parents do what they do and do the best they can, but I was crushed. I I have this one picture when I was, oh gosh, I'm not even maybe nine, nine years old. And my legs were dancer legs. Like they were long and beautiful, and I always felt like that's when things started to change for me a little bit. Anyways, I've always loved dancing and I've just loved free form movement more than anything. Put me in a room where I have to learn like steps. My brain-body connection has a really challenging time. Not saying that I won't do it, but it's just not the same as when I let my soul move my body. I had an experience, this was my ex before we were married. He was away at work and Carmen Electra came out with her striptease dance DVDs. And as a 16-year-old teenager, I had pictures of her on my wall because I wanted to be her. I thought she was like the epitome of what female energy should represent. She was beautiful, she was sexy. I thought that if I could experience looking like her and being her, that my whole world would change. And so it's funny how life sets us up to experience everything that we want, really, just not in the way we think it's gonna happen. But I put this DVD in and it was less than five minutes just from me moving my hips a certain way, and I was crying. And at the time, I couldn't really explain what I was experiencing. But now in hindsight, looking back, I know exactly what I was experiencing. I had never known what it felt to be safe as a woman, to feel sexy as a woman, to feel sensuality, to feel sensuous in my body. And all of that sexual energy, that life force energy was literally rising to the surface and being freed to express herself. And I fell in love with this feeling so much that I wanted to create it for other women, like so fast. So I went through a period where I became a personal trainer and we actually had to move cities. And I was still doing these karma electra strip DVDs. And one of the girls I worked with, I shared this with her, and she's like, why don't you just start teaching it? There's nobody that teaches anything like that here. You can just make it up. And I was like, Oh, you're talking now not only to like my inner child, but my cratrix. I love making up dances. I used to make up living room dances with my brother all the time when I was a kid, and we used to perform and everything. So I did. I just I started creating DVX dance aerobics and I taught these classes. My very first class, I had over 30 women, and the oldest woman in my class was over 70. And it was just all about we get to feel this no matter what we look like, how old we are, what shape we're in, what we've been through in our lives. We get to express our sexual power that's within us. It's beautiful, it's life-giving. And I taught that this was actually my first entrepreneurial journey. I taught Devix dance aerobics for quite a few years. And so that's what you saw. That was me unleashed, I guess you could say, because from what happened in Tennessee, she rose like the Phoenix again, and she was there.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Yeah, that's amazing. Amazing, Amy. I love it. Yeah. I'm delighted that that was well. I mean, it's exciting that that part of you has been there and it's just like a sort of a reawakening. Have you seen that energy at all kind of spill over into other aspects of your life? Or is it compartmentalized for you?

SPEAKER_04 24:33

I think it's a bit of both. It's a very creative energy, and I'm super creative. So it does. It spills over into my poetry, what I'm creating in my business. And at the same time, Marvin, I've noticed, like, I had a couple weeks there where I was just like wanting to go. Like this this energy and this power within me just wanted to roar. And there's still the little Amy that goes, Oh, that's too intense. Maybe peel back a little bit, you know, maybe contain that just a tad. Because sometimes it feels so powerful, I don't even know what to do with it, right? Um, so it's learning how to channel it in a way that my nervous system doesn't go all scattered and back into that feeling unsafe. I think too for me, because I have been okay, we're gonna go deep a little bit. I've been single for my ego says it that way. I've been single for so long. Like, come on. That I'm so used to not being able to express that in ways that I would love to be able to express that. And for me, I had my fun. You know what I mean? Like I had my fun. And in fact, out of my marriage was the first time I ever experienced genuine, I had orgasms, but genuine, like, I don't even know how to put it into words, like embodied orgasms. Like I had better sex after my marriage than I had in my marriage. And that was nobody's fault. It's just what my experience was. And so for a while there, I I felt very liberated in that area of my life. And now I feel like in my soul that there's there is there's one specific person who is so close, I have dreams about him all the time. Like, really, and it's been um an interesting journey knowing that I don't have somebody significant to share that part of me with. I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

No, I mean what I'm hearing, and tell me if if I'm wrong about this, is I mean, like you had your marriage where that part of you wasn't really fulfilled, and then after your marriage, you kind of spread your wings and you were playing, and you had these experiences, and and now you're calling in a relationship with one person who you're gonna go deep with, and you're in the select craving and it hasn't happened in the 3D yet, but of course we know that it's already and you're feeling you know, you can feel that it's there.

SPEAKER_04 27:11

So sometimes I get impatient and I and I follow what the mind tells me to do, like go back on online dating. And not that that's wrong or right, but my soul knows that's not the place for me, and it just keeps proving itself over and over and over again. So sometimes I feel like I'm caught in this loop, and I really know, like on a deep level, I'm such a different woman now that I think it's very sacred and special to be able to take sex to another level in a relationship. I mean, if the quantum field is real, right? I mean, what's possible, right? Like really truly, what's possible? And so the man I'm calling in has to at least have an understanding of that or be open to that, right? It's not like when I was a teenager and you just have a good fuck. Like, it's not like that. And actually, I didn't even lose my virginity till way later on, and I'm not even gonna go into that story, but I'm just such a more vibrant, sustenant, like there's so much more to me now that I want to be able to explore that with somebody else. And I mean, I've had a cosmic orgasm from doing a Dr. Joe meditation all by myself sitting on my couch. So I mean, like, I've experienced some pretty cool shit without anybody, right?

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Yeah. So you're like, if I was with someone who also was this, you know, conscious creator, yeah, like what could happen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

Yeah. Yeah. And why not? Most people don't think that way. I know there are people that do, but you know, a lot of people don't think that way. If we get to consciously create our lives, then don't we get to do that in every area?

SPEAKER_03 28:55

Right. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Why not? I mean, I'm I'm more and more of the belief that whether it's within a long-term, you know, committed relationship or where it's technically a one-night stand, but it is, you know, it's like a divine connection. I just think that if it's true that we're all actually one, that to me, sexuality is such a beautiful expression of separation, moving to oneness. And so, you know, I think that why wouldn't we, you know, want that? Wouldn't it be natural uh like the divine part of us want to merge with others because we actually are already cosmically, you know, one with everyone. And so yeah, I mean, if you're doing it with someone that has like an awareness of beyond what's just visible and just the senses, then what could you be?

SPEAKER_04 29:48

Yeah, it's awesome that we're talking about this, and even though I haven't technically experienced it yet in the 3D with another physical soul, I still know it's possible because I've experienced it with just myself. So I mean, come on, yeah, you'll have to have me.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

If you were to try if you have an experience, yeah. So I mean, if you were to try to describe what it was uh that you experienced by yourself, what like how would you describe it?

SPEAKER_04 30:20

I love this story so much. I love that I get to share it here. Oh yeah, please do because it was a total mystical experience. It was like totally when I wouldn't expect it. So my son went out with a friend for the evening, and I thought, oh, I'll just do 15 minutes of a Dr. Joe meditation. And I have like his meditations that I've purchased from him, but for whatever reason, I went on YouTube and I was like, I'll just see what's here. Because sometimes people make compilations, right? And so I found this one that I'd never heard of before, and it was just under an hour. And I'm like, I'll just do 15 minutes. So I'm sitting on my couch in my living room, got my eye shades on, plugged it in, and it was within the first five minutes. You know, the breath that we do, the pineal breath, the pineal breath, however you want to say it. That started happening spontaneously without me doing it. Wow. And it was like oh man, I'm already right back there.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

Uh before you finish on the story, for listeners who aren't familiar with this breath, can you just describe like in your what like what the breath is?

SPEAKER_04 31:30

For me, the way I can describe it, sure. Yeah. So the pineal breath is when you sit up straight and you practice pulling up from your root. So it's essentially you're locking down and then you're squeezing all the intrinsic muscles. So the the muscles that you use for sex and pooping and and you keep moving up, right? It's like it's like sucking all this energy through a straw until you get to your pineal gland, because the whole purpose of this is to knock on the door of your pineal gland. And I I'm not Dr. Joe, so I won't go too far into it. But basically, if you can do that and start activating your pineal gland, it can release so much cool shit.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Right, Marvel? Yes, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

All right, and and people have experience even in his events, brain orgasms, whatever you want to call them. This was not that. This was like a cosmic orgasm. It was it was slow, it was perfect, it kept building, it was like um the hook and uh like a really good movie. And it was just it was happening despite me. That's the thing. This movement of the breath, the squeezing and all the energy pulling up, like it lasted the entire time. And this was around, I'm thinking, by the time it started to the time it ended, around 44 to 49 minutes-ish. Okay. And I got to the point where I knew I was having a cosmic orgasm. Like my whole beingness was in the sexual energy. And I was moaning, I was groaning, I was, it was so blissful. Like I was high, I was ecstatic, I was all the things that Dr. talks about. And I didn't care. And my walls are pretty thin with my neighbor, and I'm thinking, oh, what this guy's in for a show, right? But it was it was entirely different from like a physical orgasm where you release, you know, fluids. I didn't release fluids out, I released fluids in and up. Yeah, yeah, it was it was so divine. I felt so loved, like loved like I've never experienced before. And one of my favorite coins that Dr. Joe says, because I've said it before even meeting him, is just when you think you can't experience another level of love, you do. And this was like meh. And I was smiling while it was happening, and I just kept saying yes. I kept saying yes because yes was me allowing my nervous system to receive it like it was safe, and it was just a whole thing. I don't know, like so. This is me right now. I don't know if anything else could ever top that. So now I'm like, okay, universe, go to work and top that right exactly.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Yeah, here's your challenge. Try to beat that experience. Yeah, that's cool. I actually have not had the experience that he talks about, or like what you just described. I mean, I have I do the breath a lot, and I've actually started doing this. You know, that he's got these new albums out that are for the breath, and there's like on those, there's like an hour-long mix of just consistent breath work, and I've started doing that in the morning, and I mean, I definitely feel the movement of energy I've always have, and I feel you know the way that the pineal gland, when it's activated, enables me to tune out all the physical sensory stuff and to just enter into that. Like, I mean, he'll say the void. It's funny because like I've been re-watching Stranger Things with my son, and to me, there's parallels in a weird way with like because I don't know if you're familiar with that show at all, but well, there's this character that's really powerful, and what she will do is she'll to channel her power, she'll get in a bath where she's like sensory deprivation basically, and she's floating, and with the sensory deprivation, she like enters into this like black space, and then like she's able to kind of travel across time and space and do all this kind of weird crazy stuff when she's in the blackness, which Dr. Joe talks about. So for me, definitely when I've done that, the more I do that breath, especially with these hour-long sessions, you know, uh it's very easy to enter into that kind of blackness and feel that sort of sensory deprivation because it's like the body just the volume to all the sensory stuff just kind of really tunes down and the awareness. I mean, for me, the awareness of the invisible, the volume of that turns up. But I've not had like that kind of orgasmic experience that you're talking about, and that you know, I've heard people talk about in his work. There was a period of time where I was like really trying to make that happen. Now I'm kind of like, it's already happened in five in in the fifth dimension, it's it's it's all now, right? And so, and I just like when I'm doing it, I'm like, I'm being it right now, and how it shows up in my 3D will more than likely be something completely unexpected, kind of like what you experienced, you know, that is like wow, here it is.

SPEAKER_04 36:58

And I never did the breath work that time, just so you know. I really want to share this because I actually haven't done breath work except for a couple of the live events that I've jumped in on. I haven't practiced it on my own. I'm actually avoiding it. Isn't that funny? And so when I did that meditation, the breath work was not included in that. However, when I was in Denver at the week long, there was a couple times where I could feel the energy of what the breath does start to happen spontaneously. It happened to me a couple times, not that long. So, but you sharing that with me, I'm like, what would happen though if I started committing to doing the breath work? Because I've had experiences with conscious breath work before. And I understand that we can literally like get to this place where we are not our body, we are not our mind. Like, I've had out-of-body experiences and coming back into the body. So I love that you shared that, Marvin, because I feel like I just keep getting nudged a little bit. Be like, Amy, do the breath.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Yeah, the villain. Yeah. I was, I mean, I was surprised. I didn't even sure how I would be with doing it for an hour because it seemed like it that sounded like a long time to me to do. But then when I did it, I was like, weird, it's it's almost like it's easier in a way than doing it for the usual six or seven minutes because I just kind of got into a rhythm and a flow, and it was easier to get out of my head with it and just make it more of a an experience into it for sure. Like I'm more embracing the fact that hey, it's my sexual energy, and that's okay. You know, it's like I'm more and more feeling like this is divine, this is a part of divinity, you know, this is a vibration in the field of who the divine is that it's sexual, it's literally what created us.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Yes, like without it, we would not exist, right? Yeah, yeah, we wouldn't exist without it. It's one of the most beautiful things God, the divine source, ever, ever, ever, ever created. Yeah, without it, we don't have life. Like we don't have life force. We've seen it, and I know in my heart and soul that the divine is not here to shame any of us. That's not what it's made of. We're made of pure intelligent love, and our egos are the only thing that do that to ourselves and each other.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

I agree for sure. Well I love you, Marvin. I love you, and you are amazing, amazing Amy, y'all. Check her out. She's got a podcast too. Winning the Divine Lottery. I went on it and it was an incredible experience. Y'all should check it out. Yes.

Marvin aka Morgan Hale 39:33

Thanks for listening to Filthy Little Secrets. I hope we left you feeling light, free, and inspired to explore your filthy sexual horizons. If you want more, subscribe to get all the filthy future funds. If you're a sex positive woman and like to burn another bra of chain, I want to talk to you. Want to come on the show and tell your story? Go to Morganhale Books.com slash podcast to learn more. That's M O R C A N H A L E Books dot com slash podcast. Until next time, it's Morgan Hale, encouraging you to keep it real and healthy.